140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160

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 It has been a long time since I wrote. Many things have happened and many things will happen. Will take this chance on the last day of August to soothe things.

1. Papa is well.

2. We traveled to Orissa and we landed back safe. The trip was because of my uncle's funeral. But I got a chance to sit for the pooja, same as what I had sat for my mother's. The pandits were very nice. They said that if you do anything with shraddha (i.e.- devotion), then it is shraadh. (The final offering to the deceased.) So if I take care of Papa well now, it is still shraadh. And that kind of shraadh is important - to give when people are around and not just when they are gone.

3. We stayed at the Mayfair Lagoon in Bhubaneswar. There was one specific night that I relish. It was the night we reached. Sometimes relatives out of goodwill can be really relentless and want to meet Papa. He could barely sit straight after the long flight but he still wanted to meet some people. I put my foot down, threw a tantrum, and then Papa didn't go. But we ordered room service and sat in the balcony looking at the torrential rains. There were blasts of lightning and then the quiet kanhaiya blue (the blue of Lord Krishna). The rain fell in sheets and the lagoon swelled and danced in the rains. Papa and I sat in silence. It felt like we were father and daughter again...the way we were when I was a little girl in Aquaba waiting for Papa to come home. Then he would sit with me and read me Endymion, even though I understood nothing.

4. I think I was carrying some pain for a while that I was just carrying through with work. That night I had a good chat with my father and a good cry afterwards. I felt good.

5. Work has been very very hectic and challenging in different areas. But I have showed up and survived. I think there is something to be said for that.

6. There's food in the fridge, plentiful water, and end of the month but substantial money in the bank. Very grateful for that.

7. I looked pretty good today in my magenta crop top and a pair of patchwork harem pants. 

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