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 There is a lot of weariness and tenderness. Could be that time of the month. Which I like. It's like nature takes matters in its own hands and then enforces you to soften your heart, soak your expectations of yourself in acceptance, and relax. I like periods. It's quite a marvel.

Here are all the things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. Did not speak to him yesterday but no sudden phone calls. So, we notch that down to things being as good as they can be at the moment. 

2. Got my kitchen lights fixed.

3. Averted an eye-related accident. 

4. Went to watch Weapons last night. As a movie it is not all that scary but I think the way it has woven in Biblical references is really good! 

5. Cook had made really tasty khichdi yesterday - with soya chunks. I had it with a really yummy Naga chilli pickle that my friend had given me day before.

6. I asked ChatGPT about how many books I should be reading a month to hit my career and personal goals. It recommended 4 to 6. DeepSeek and Grok mentioned 12 to 15 books for mastery. It helpfully told me that I am not getting any younger so there is less time to accomplish goals anyway. The sobering factor is that I am not even able to finish one book. And I keep buying books and stacking them. I don't know what kind of psychological reasons underlie this. But I think that reading generally can result in and/ or demands internal transformation. So that itself is a scary thing if you feel that your foundations are weakening (in my case my father's health and my own fatigue.) So because internal transformation is not something I feel like committing to, I do the first step of nudging towards a different identity and leave it at that. (This is also an insight I got off ChatGPT. But upon reflection, I think it is a damn good observation. It's the same with clothes. So many times the clothes or shoes or make-up represents the person we want to be. But to actually be that person requires effort. So it's good to just buy something and stay comfortable in the thought that my job is done.)