Stupid, stupid day

 I worked through the night on a document and I lost it in the morning. Of course I didn't know that none of the changes had been saved. So I celebrated early morning looking at a russet sunrise and eating two bowls of phirni. V had got extra for my cook from Orissa, who I have called for a few months to take care of Dad. But she is spending a couple of days at my house first. She leaves tomorrow and I really am sad. She is so so good. 

Anyway V had got extra phirni for her and since I really love phirni, I was only too happy when she said that her doctor had ordered her to not have it. Still, I felt a little bad when I knew I was having her share. But then I peeled off the tin foil and scooped the creamy, delicately sweetened phirni and didn't feel bad any more. I got her a papaya which her doctor had recommended. (This is why I avoid docs. This useless advice on giving up phirni and all that I can't follow.)

Then my Dad came and I swear it's like he doesn't even know me. He asked me today if I wanted to learn vermiculture and go to Satara and do something. Vermiculture! Satara! I have been in the doldrums because I haven't been able to go to Zara. 

Anyway, really sad because my cook is going away tomorrow and there is no phirni in the house. I ate so much today...am happy. It's really as if my tummy is working to its full potential. Anyway, anything for Daddy. 

Losing a good cook is quite traumatic. Don't feel like working anymore. I think I will take a few days off. Anyway, my regular one is there. She is really nice too. 

I want to go back to Varanasi and be surrounded by happy kachoris and joyful jalebis. Oh...and the Ganga, of course. 

Phirni, jalebi, kachori, bhaang, Ganga, my cook from Orissa...so many things I don't have/ won't have anytime soon. Truth be told, I am feeling a little sorry for myself.

One lives in hope though. 

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