Day 52 of 108

Today was a mixed bag, as far as days go. I got into a mighty salty mood for a bit. But that's in the past. A lot of cloud and storm in the chest area but we will soothe ourselves in a bit. I have so much to do that it is crazy shit. And next month will be a roller-coaster as well.

Anyway a little at a time. Here are all the things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well.

2. Both cook and cleaning lady came over today.

3. Quite enjoyed my first cup of tea. 

4. Got some clarity at work today.

5. Neighbour came over and we sketched a bit.

Sketches from today:

Day 51 of 108

 Today was a busy day. Mainly meetings. But somewhere a needle moved. Or so I hope. Here are a few things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well.

2. A friend came over to meet me and he gave me soorma and a lovely bottle of attar. It's lovely and fresh.

3.  Enjoyed rice and daal. 

4. Woke up earlier today.

5. Enjoyed my outfit. 

Picture references from Pinterest.

Day 50 of 108

 I am really really upset today. But it was a peaceful enough day with some good things.

Here are all the things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. He sounded happy when I spoke with him.

2. An old trigger resurfaced. I handled it with wisdom.

3. Had a good, happy chat with V. He told me about some nice medu wada place. Should go and try it out. I love medu wadas. Apparently there's a place next door for puri bhaji. I like puri bhaji too. I will maybe get my cook to make some tomorrow. 

4. Managed to go to the gym today.

5. Had a nice time at Starbucks. Read a little. People-watched. Had a lovely apple refresher and headed home.

6. Got ricks to and fro.

Day 49 of 108

 It was a nice enough Sunday. There's a lot of ground to cover and am sure things will happen. But here are all the things I am grateful for...may the list continue:

1. Papa is well. Did not talk to him today but there were no frantic calls from Vashi. So that is good.

2. Met a friend for dinner and we went to P.F.Changs...a place I remember eating at in the US on my daily allowance.

3. Managed a workout today.

4. Both my help came today. The cook was late. I am not happy about it But she turned up.

5. Had really tasty dosa today.

6. My friend got me some pretty blossoms! They are a soft terracotta-peachy colour...almost onion pink. Really pretty!

Pictures from today:

5.

Day 48 of 108

 Today was a strange day and I learned or rather relearned a lesson. - when it is really dark and tough, take the first step.

I did not go to Vashi because I had to wrap up something. Have been feeling quite low on energy. Today was just so hard. I have been feeling really stuck lately and I just want to sail away somewhere - little suitcase with some books, some money, cotton clothes, sturdy shoes, a few bottles of attar, Mum's jewellery that I am wearing now, and take on a new name. With a fresh new identity, I will make new friends, have new hobbies,, learn music, maybe help out at a daycare center by the beach, feed little kids jam and butter sandwiches, and just sit by the shore and keep watching the sun go down. 

I was really feeling the burn to head out somewhere. I tried getting in touch with a few friends and they were either out of town or they didn't respond. It is unreasonable but I was just feeling that it is steadily getting heavy and cumbersome to get in touch with people, make plans, then have them decide whether they want to meet you, etc. etc. But that's a mental spiral I did not want to go down. So I had been sketching a fair bit at night. So I slept off. When I woke up, my neighbor who I had messaged. So we went to a little cafe below my building for a coffee and cookies. I had a ginger biscuit and she had an oatmeal cookie.

Then we got back and he burn to just go away started flaming up again. What I have learned so far in life is that when things start feeling overwhelming, one must begin with the body - either movement or massage. I hadn't worked out for a while so I went to the gym. Did a bit of cross-trainer. That's when another friend messaged and we headed out. I was so grateful for that - we checked out Banng, Toto's, Doolally, and Therapy. It was just so crowded! Then we went to one of my favorite places to hang out in Bombay - Juhu. I love Juhu! We went to Bora Bora, got a place to sit (Hallelujah!), and could even see Juhu beach from where we were sitting. Had herbed onion rings, French fries, a Bora Bora Disaster and Guava Spice mocktails, listened to 90s and early 2000s music, watched music videos of 50 cent and Pitbull from ages ago, and headed back. Bombay is just perfect nowadays. I was a little worried that the security in y building would be asleep and it would be a hassle getting someone to open the gates - but thankfully, the dude was awake. 

I hope I remember the lesson from today - that whenever things feel walled in, something or the other opens up and some joy creeps in.

Here are all the things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. He sounded good.

2. Both help came today.

3. Had a couple of interesting outings today.

4. Managed a stint at the gym, even if it was for a short time.

5. Had the resources to go out and get myself out of a slump.

(All pic. references - Pinterest)

Day 47 of 108

 I am truly exhausted today. Really, really tired! So I will just type these out quickly, fic myself something to drink and sip it watching the twinkly lights of the city. Or just crumple into bed. So much got left out today. Uff. Didn't go to the gym. This weekend will not go to Vashi. I am a little sad. Still life is rough and tough. And we need some mercy and gratitude to get things going. Or to get through things.

Here are all the things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. Spoke to him today.

2. Both help came today.

3. Have a home.

4. No outage of electricity etc. 

5. Have running water and such things. 

Life's good. 

Day 46 of 108

I have a steady amount of annoyance today. But it is par for the course. C'est la vie, as they say. But in any case, we lived one more day and there's much to be said for that. Here are all the things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. He sent me a picture of his. Looks so happy!

2. Cook had made really good sarson ka saag today.

3. Sudden turn of events and a friend and I made quick plans. We went through Juhu, Versova, had date and banana icecreams, and spent some time at the Versova beach. It was cold and crisp! Lovely, lovely evening!

4. Loved this post on Facebook about butterflies having memories from their caterpillar days. Ref: https://www.facebook.com/100080208082327/posts/pfbid0287y7Bu5b7VpCrNkpYgceEX7XL9AtqYT9NZqPbyWdPNHhF1opCpqXgXJ4Vd6geRDEl/?app=fbl 

To be honest, I hadn't paid much attention to whether the butterfly inherited the memories from the caterpillar. But it's an interesting thing to think all the same.

5. Juhu, especially JVPD, is such a beautiful road! Tonight, with less traffic and all, it felt like the road equivalent of a cashmere sweater. Really grateful for the ride!

This is a picture of ISKCON. 

Day 45 of 108

1. Papa is well.

2.  Read this really inspiring story of a man who was stranded in a capsized boat and survived sea-based accidents twice: https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1CVQuLsrmV/

3. Cook made sarson ka saag today. Tasty.

4. Friend has come over. Nice.

5. Managed to go to the gym today.

Photos from today (Pic.refs: Pinterest)

One more sketch

 

More sketches

 

Day 44 of 108

One more day...a small slice or sliver on the slab of time. It was an okayish kind of day. More good than bad. Here are all the things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well.

2. Completed a couple of submissions today. Seemed like it won't amount to much. But here we are. 

3. Have a home, water, and electricity.

4. Have some money to buy groceries and a few simple treats...like lemon tarts and a cinnamon roll from Nostalgia.

5. Managed to sketch today.

6. Managed to go to the gym today.

Day 43 of 108

It was an odd kind of day. But some interesting things happened. Here are all the things I am grateful for today:

1. Papa is well. There was a slightly heavy undertaking that required a fair amount of coordination. Papa managed. He sounded happy and healthy.

2. Spoke to a friend today after ages. A small part of our conversation triggered me. But that's good because it tells me how things will go.

3. It was the first day at work. And like water being the coldest before you dip in, there was a fair amount of trepidation. And here we go. It was uncomfortable. And maybe there will be a tad discomfort off and on. But I am listing this as an item to be grateful for because it is a sign to stay strong in my resolve to not label situations.

4. Went to Mount Mary and ran into an old friend. We returned home and had a good chat. I was meeting him after ages but it felt as if no time had passed.

5. Had water, electricity, food...and really grateful for a home in a safe place.

Here are some pictures from today:

Day 42 of 108

 A heavy emotional day. Gosh...there are quite a few of them in quick succession. Never mind. If it's come our way, there must be a purpose. 

Here are a few things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. Did not talk to him tonight but no frantic phone calls. So all okay.

2. Wore my brown and copper Zara dress after ages. I paired it with a reversible jacket I had got in Agra 

3. Ordered Tatsu tarts. Really enjoyed the lemon cheesecake one.

4. Went to NMAC and tried out their cafe Amadeo. Not quite nice. Avoidable. But just glad for the experience. 

5. A friend dropped in this evening. Chatting with him was the most precious part about today.

Pictures from today: