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 Yesterday was a disappointing day. I had to make a few compromises. Just because I had been weak and not prepared in the days preceding yesterday. Never mind. Will forgive myself by and by. But lessons learnt. Or are they?

I am not liking the way today is going either. Did some reading - but it is heavy reading so it is taking a toll. Just want my life and my weekends back. 

Long endless travel tomorrow and an uncertainly long night today. But anyway, time to make some changes in the mindset. A few things am grateful for:

1. The wisdom and love of my mother. She's no more but each passing day I sense just how tremendous she was.

2. Spoke to Papa today. He is not getting stronger but...I suppose one had signed up for a long and limping recovery. 

3. Have a roof over my head.

4. Have water in the taps.

5. There's food in the fridge.

6. Enjoying my cup of strong coffee.

7. I liked it when H asked me if she could also have coffee in the afternoon with me. I told her to make it strong and not that milky brown way she usually does it. Offered to make it for her. But she got a little scared because I generally have coffee black or really strong. She said that she will wash the clothes and then make her cup. I saw her savoring it by the window. That's what coffee is - solace in a sand dune of time.

8. Reconnected with an old friend. Felt good. Did feel a tad worried about how things are going with him. But it is all good. 

9. Found an empty Moleskine notebook. It's black and empty and like all empty notebooks, it brims with the possibility of what can happen.

10. It was an emotionally charged day. That was not pleasant but I am trying to reframe the experience as something to be thankful about. Like the poem by Mary Olivier, 'The Uses of Sorrow':

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

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 day passed

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I just feel so scattered and broken. My attention has been waning, my focus is dead, I have not been able to meet Papa although I spoke with him, it is cold and windy, I was having slight fever, and the work was a lot. But it is precious...the way things got done today. I hadn't made a to-do list but I got a couple of emails indicating that a few tasks needed to be prioritised. After that, I just started my laptop, made a few bullet points in my head and plodded on. 

I will make some coffee now and read a little. 

It's cold and rainy and I am waiting for the night to end. 

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Dad had a scheduled check-up with the doctor. It took really long and my last ounce of patience. The doctor was nice. However I found the nurses a little insensitive - rather one of them. Anyway, Papa is back home and trips to the hospital is what I am really grateful for...for having money in the bank. It's like whatever you estimate to spend, you spend twice the amount. 

Managed to make it to the Ma Kali temple and it was gorgeous! Along with Janmashtami, there was a Ma Kali celebration too. Today she was draped in a brinjal-indigo hued cotton saree with a maroon zari border. The garland was several thick circles of hibiscus, mogras, and marigold. It was gorgeous.

Then went off to meet a friend at her place and it was such a blissful chill evening. I wore my white shiny top and grey jeans. That top that makes me look like tinsel is one of the happiest joyous item of clothing I have. I wear that and any child that looks in my direction starts smiling with their eyes a little wide. I really do look like a party train. 

My cabbie from the temple to Ghatkopar was exceptionally kind and sweet! I just ended the ride and kept saying thank you for a couple of minutes and topped him. His smile was bright and cheery. Like my top. 

Today, it rained sparkles.

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 One more day has passed and I spent a long time dead and vacant-eyed. I don't know - I just feel tapped out. 

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 I am tired. Went to the gym and it was a good session. Felt a little bored today. I had a rather nice ride back to Bandra - even though I was stuck in traffic, the car was so comfortable and smelled so nice that I drifted off to a luscious sleep.

Papa is well - if not well, he is getting on. Hopefully, next week, things should be better. It was nice and slick and rainy today. 

Had a nice phirni at home. Damn neat! Had called for a massage this morning - it was okay.

Anyway, I asked ChatGPT to translate 10 of Lord Krishna's teachings into a daily tracker. This is the result it gave me and it is remarkably good:

1. Do your duty without attachment to results

Karmanye vadhikaraste, ma phaleshu kadachana.
Focus on effort, not outcome. This frees you from anxiety and keeps your work sincere.

2. Adapt to circumstances without losing your values
Krishna often changed tactics to suit the moment — but never compromised core principles.

3. Use wisdom over brute force
He won many conflicts not by fighting but through strategy, diplomacy, and understanding human nature.

4. Keep your mind steady in success and failure
Don’t let highs inflate your ego or lows break your spirit — both are temporary.

5. Guide others when you see them lost
Krishna didn’t fight the war himself, but his counsel to Arjuna changed the outcome.

6. Accept that change is constant
Life cycles through creation, preservation, and destruction. Embracing impermanence makes you resilient.

7. Master your desires before they master you
Uncontrolled wants cause restlessness; moderation brings peace.

8. Serve a purpose bigger than yourself
Krishna acted for dharma — the greater good — even when it meant personal sacrifice.

9. Balance joy and responsibility
He played the flute and danced with the gopis, yet shouldered the heavy role of guiding a kingdom.

10. Trust that the right action, done consistently, aligns with the larger order
Sometimes results take time — but right action never goes to waste.

---

If you want, I can give you a practical “Krishna framework” — one modern-day habit for each of these 10 lessons, so they don’t just stay as philosophy but become daily practice. That’s how they really stick.

You said:

yes please

ChatGPT said:

Alright — here’s your Practical Krishna Framework with one actionable habit for each lesson, so you can live them instead of just remember them.

---

1. Do your duty without attachment to results

Habit: Set a daily effort goal (e.g., “write for 30 minutes” or “practice for 1 hour”) instead of a results goal. Tick it off regardless of outcome.

2. Adapt to circumstances without losing your values

Habit: When plans change, ask yourself: “What’s my non-negotiable here?” Keep that intact, adjust the rest.

3. Use wisdom over brute force

Habit: Before tackling a problem, take 2 minutes to list at least two non-obvious solutions — you’ll start training your mind to think strategically.

4. Keep your mind steady in success and failure

Habit: At the end of each day, write down one success and one setback — treat both with equal reflection, no over-celebrating or over-worrying.

5. Guide others when you see them lost

Habit: Once a week, reach out to someone who seems stuck (at work or personally) and offer a listening ear or small piece of advice.

6. Accept that change is constant

Habit: Every month, deliberately change one routine (route to work, workout style, reading topic) to stay adaptable.

7. Master your desires before they master you

Habit: Choose one indulgence (e.g., sweets, social media, binge TV) and limit it to a fixed amount per week — track it.

8. Serve a purpose bigger than yourself

Habit: Commit 30–60 minutes a week to a cause you care about, even if it’s small — consistency matters more than scale.

9. Balance joy and responsibility

Habit: Schedule at least one “pure joy” activity in your week — and protect that time as seriously as a meeting.

10. Trust that the right action, done consistently, aligns with the larger order

Habit: Keep a progress journal where you log actions, not just results — review monthly to see the invisible build-up of effort.

That's it for now!

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A project just got done successfully and it feels strange and I feel a void. I want to take some time and actually write about this experience. Papa did not sound good. I will go to visit him and now move him to Bandra soon. Enough of travel etc. 

Anyway now don't feel like writing too much. Allowed myself a few minutes of pleasure to paint my nails. 

The nails are the only part of me looking good now. 

Premchand and the AI sentiment

 (As posted on LinkedIn)

Premchand and the AI-sentiment

The world today seems to be wrapped in a fever-dream of AI and attention-conquest. To make sense of the crypt and script, I look to fiction, especially short stories by Premchand. Although Premchand wrote about a different time, place, and points of power, he masterfully captured the vista of ideological fiefdom. There are the landmark stories of ‘Kafan’ and ‘Godaan’, of course, but nowadays I reflect on the short story, ‘Bade Ghar ki Beti’ (loosely translated, it means ‘daughter of a big/ rich house’ or, in the case of most Premchand stories, of ‘upper class’).

The story goes thus: a woman from an affluent family marries into the house of a common teacher. The man and his family are sweet to her, but the brother-in-law is rough around the edges. Still, the lady accepts her married family as her own, and the lines dissolve. One day, the brother-in-law brings in two fowls and asks the lady to cook them. There is very little ghee in the kitchen, and the lady uses up the ghee to cook the meat. She is not used to rationing ingredients in the kitchen, so she cooks daal without ghee. When the brother-in-law asks her why there is no ghee in the lentils, she tells him that the ghee was used up in the chicken. The brother-in-law is most upset with this news. He had bought a good amount of ghee only a few days earlier. He accuses her of not being able to manage the modest means of her house because she is so used to living in luxury. The lady is upset and the matter comes to a head. She and the brother-in-law demand ‘batwaara’ (split of property) or an arrangement where only one of them can remain in the house. Considering the times in which this was written, the split of a joint family was perceived as a loss and ignominy of the worst kind. Families did not get divided. Period. It hurts the elder brother deeply to stay apart, but he understands that his wife has already made a lot of compromises. However, the wife notices the fractured pain of the house and just when the family has to be divided for good, she goes to the brother-in-law and tells him to let bygones be bygones. The family is re-united.

She is a ‘Bade ghar ki beti’, not because of class or wealth, but because of heart. How identities morph and shape because of our emotional alignment is usually what I have loved about Premchand’s works.

This story makes me think about the use of AI in my field. I hope it takes over completely. I hope it storyboards and reviews, attends meetings, discusses schedule, trains vendors, deflects blame, gives and receives feedback, architects workflows, calculates ROI on training, panders to egos, calls out the bloat of inept experience, negotiates money, etc. I hope that it does all of this so that each one of us is replaced. And when everything is AI-centered and AI-driven, maybe we will finally begin to investigate what exactly makes us, and our work, human. Then, maybe, the batwaara can be avoided for good.

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It has been a rather rough and tumble ride. My personal laptop is broken and that has hurt me. But I really don't want to spiral into a painful situation now. A couple of things happened today that hurt me a little but plenty more happened that made it okay. So, we will listen those out:

1. No panic calls from Vashi or brother. So Papa seems to be okay.

2. A friend brought Brun pav this morning. Fresh from Muhammad Ali Road. It was delectable...a sturdy, browned crusty layer with soft, cloud-like salty inside that was dense yet airy...every pav was a delectable piece of baked harmony. I ate one pav on its own and it was bliss! I ate another one lightly toasted with ghee and sliced bananas. The third one was with Dal Makhani and tandoori mushroom. It really was delicious! My cleaning lady had 1 and she loved it too. Now there are 2 remaining. We will have that with chai and masala and pineapple jam tomorrow. What a hopeful little plan for a Monday!

3. I heard a few things today that dimmed my joy. Won't get into details now but it goes to show that there are areas where I need to be stronger and emotionally resilient.

4. Managed to do some weights today.

5. Ordered from a place called FuelUp. There cauli rice was tasty. At night went to Starbucks to try their new jaggery coffee and a vegetarian tofu-spinach sandwich. That was okay. The croissant sandwich was nice but the coffee was meh!

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 I am feeling disoriented now. And my body aches - from the travel and whatever is going on. But a friend takes me to his gym every night...and I don't think I have worked out all that much but my thighs, back, and shoulders are sore - but hopefully they are getting stronger. That is the one thing that I realized over the last week. I had assumed that picking up my dad and moving him etc. would be easy for me. He is old and I thought I was strong. Turns out not. 

Anyway, time in a hospital is when a lot of one's mental constructs come crashing down. 

I don't feel like writing any more now.  

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Papa was discharged today and none of us were prepared for it. He is still so weak but we are on the right path of treatment, it seems. But there is a recent development that we have to watch out for. I am scared. But fear and exhaustion or not, this is what we will be going through in the years to come. 

I had not bathed all day, was exhausted, and had a rough and tumble situation with the hospital staff. But...there were special pockets of sweetness. Really nice auto-guy and shopkeeper in Chembur, an hour of really deep prayer, getting a nurse to come and help us out with a few things at home, and a really sweet conversation with a friend. He came over and we had Diet Coke in wine glasses, lit a candle for no apparent reason other than the fact that I was broke and he was tired and I was explained the features of various mutual funds, I warmed up dinner for myself in a pan - and while that in and of itself is not a big deal, given the level of fatigue, I think I did well.

Looking back at just today, I recognize that Life...in its innocent ways, did want me to make it through. Now we'll see about tomorrow.

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 Standing beside Papa's hospital bed. Staying the night here and it.is.exhausting. I had typed so much after this sentence. But it all got erased. I don't have the energy to type any more of this stuff but that is what makes it important. I am grateful that Papa is still there. He is really weak but showed tremendous tenacity. He walked a tiny bit today.

The rides from Bandra to Chembur are glorious. Especially the night rides where you are traveling on the Santa Cruz- Chembur flyover. 

Quite enjoyed the samosa from the canteen.

Little by little, one goes far.

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 It looks like it will be very tough going. Papa was hospitalized today. He developed some stomach pain and as yet nothing has been diagnosed. 

Things are difficult and it looks as if this is how it will be for a long while.