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 I have lit a tealight at the altar and a candle that is by the window. Last couple of days, there have been outpourings of angst. I don't deny or regret it. That too is energy and beautiful energy that must be expressed. But some soothing is required so today's post will be about some sweetness.

1. Papa is well. I spoke to him and he sounded good. 

2. I wore a soft brown cotton saree today. There is something about the drape of cotton that feels so nourishing. And especially the color brown - it is a sweet, solid color. 

3. I resisted the temptation to buy sarees or books. I think this resistance is important. The muscle to delay gratification must always be strong.

4. I had a tasty meal - there was a sandwich with a hummus spread and a besan cheela.

5. There is water, electricity, hot chocolate (that I am relishing now as I type this), and safety. 

What I learned today:

1. Actually it is not something external. But I was not feeling well today (a fitting situation for someone who cribbed on other weaklings falling sick). So I decided to skip the workout. Did a smidgeon though. But I was very angry and anxious this morning. So I sat and observed my feelings. There was a slow burn in the pit of my stomach. It felt chilli hot and also temperature hot. Behind the navel. It was uncomfortable. I felt as if something was getting burned or ruptured. I then did some movements - just to release the knot. But that didn't help. From a few books that I have been reading and a few people that I have been listening to, I felt I should sit with the burn. So I did. Slowly I felt it rise up to my heart. And by this time I know that any pain in or around the heart is a non-acceptance of what is. There is some expectation of a reality that is currently not presenting itself in a way that I find acceptable. So I want it to go and I want it to change. But the way for my body to feel peace is to accept it and not denounce it. That will not work because the burn really is overpowering. Then felt better and got to work. The throb is still there but...practice still needs to be done.