That kind of a day, that kind of a thought

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 It was Eid and Ekadashi today. Thus far, I have managed to keep the fast for Ekadashi. But we still have 2 hours to go so...let's see.

I had this urge to go to a temple. There is a small one near my house. Today it was filled with people singing keertans. So I went to the  Iskcon. I like the temple. It's so big and bustling. It's organised and musical. 

But today was very crowded. Usually I go to temples and do a quick pranaam without offering flowers or fruits. But I felt like buying a thali. I got one with some fruits, tulsi leaves and a single marigold flower that lay there like a fully energized petaled sun. There was a long queue and I was already feeling stressed in the pit of my stomach. But the line kept moving and just like that, I had my darshan and I got done. 

I came out and thought of getting a flower for the pooja room in my home. I bought a lotus. The florist fluffed out the petals and it looked like a sweet little bird. 

I caught an auto back and as is my nature, I thought.

The trip to Iskcon was an impulse...a strong, deep tug in my stomach. But the road had a few unpleasant skirmishes - the auto-fellow whose meter was galloping away. When I confronted him about it, he got defensive and started arguing. The security lady at the temple shoved me a little bit. Inside, another lady was flapping her elbows to twist her way ahead of the queue, and the florist overcharged me for the lotus saying that it was a special day. 

Earlier I would have thought that religion or these kinds of rituals make people dishonest and bad. But the fact that all that happened, yet I had my darshan properly and returned home without getting wet...that says something. There is a man, a tantric called Rajarshi Nandy, who says that the purpose of all the rituals etc. is not for the gods or goddesses. They will be perfectly fine without it. They are for the person who has to live out his or her life here, being constantly distorted with the corruption of daily living. 

I saw that today. This trip, I thought, was like my life. There seem to be many things and people in the path who really do put me off my larger goal. The path itself is too crowded and the goal feels unwieldy. But I expect that someday, for a short while, the crowds will thin and I will grasp my goal like dandelion fluff in my palms.

It will be a simple, sweet miracle that I will forget about the next second. 

And that will be a life lived the way it should be. 

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