Chiffonesque

  Had planted chilli seeds a long while ago. The plant had grown big and thick but there weren't any chillies. Papa, my cook, and some friends jokes that it was possibly not a chilly plant. I knew what I had planted though. And my cleaning lady believed me. I have to say that I loved this plant irrespective of whether there were chillies or not. I greeted it every morning and in between rough calls at work, I almost took refuge in this stoic little being looking out at a growling, busy world - minding its own business, growing roots doing its thing. My cleaning lady was really upbeat about this. She would water it and every time she did, she would tell me a story about her village in Alibaug. And today, she woke me up with the joy of announcing the arrival of a messiah, "Chillies have come." And we both stood there, stroking this fine specimen. I don't have very many plants and frankly I like building a connection with one or two. You see a plant but after the sun goe...

  I was really unwell last two days. Just mighty exhausted - emotionally and physically. Last night I was talking to a friend and it occurred to me that I don't think I have anything figured out. And a consequence of not having anything figured out is just going through life without...how shall I put it... without lubrication. It's as if every day one is getting sandpapered thoroughly. Anyway I had a massage today. I love Urban Company. Their masseuses are so nice and they don't talk during the massage. Actually I would have called the other maalish lady but I have lost all phone numbers now.  Anyway, I slept after the massage and woke up after the day is over. So now I have made tea, lit a candle, and am looking at the world that I will have to meet, greet, beat tomorrow.  But for now, there's truce with the innocent beast. 

 Thought I would take a minute to acknowledge all the nice things I have relished the last few days: 1. Had ordered a batch of sweet eclairs the other day. I didn't know Mad over Donuts had them. Anyway, I enjoyed a really yummy one after rough emotional days. 2. There are days when I just think about Ma. It still feels unreal. I don't think I am sad but I like thinking of her. Fills me with a soft cushiony lining of love.  3. I liked what I did today at work. Turns out I like what I do even though having people around and minor melt-downs etc. are trying at times. 4. Talks with a couple of pals.

 Yesterday I met a friend for tea and then we went to his house. It is such a cute and charming place. He is an artist and has a really large room with lots of artwork.  I had seen his paintings on Instagram and I really liked them but seeing them in person is quite something. You know that you are looking at something original. He told me about the birds around his house, a large and expensive flat somewhere around...then it started drizzling and the traffic on Linking Road shone like bits of hard candy.  One of the reasons I am writing about this is because yesterday, the evening was a lovely chit of time. Much will happen. And I will forget that in this muchness, even that kind of evening had come my way. 

  There's always that one house in a lane that stands out to a dazed, tired traveler. It's a house that is bright and lit and even if you can't hear anything, you know there's music. You stand across that lane, trying to see if there's someone there.  (There used to be a place like this in Koregaon Park, Lane 7. During walks at night with no streetlight, a pitch dark road, but a full generous moon, we would look  at this one flat that looked like a dancing jewel in a clutch of pretty but staid gems.)  You see no one. You continue on your way.  But there's a strange spring in your step. 

 He put a coaster made of roughened deer bone under his cup of gin. The little hut had only two bulbs. One flickered at times and the other one lit up to only quarter its strength. The tiny place always seemed lit with candles always on the verge of going out. He shifted the dead broken star that he kept as paperweight and took the tinted letter in his hands - his large hands with long fingers and dainty fate lines. "Fragile be the fate", she used to say. He read the letter again, squinting in the dim light but frankly he remembered it all. "Dear Pansy, Offended? Bet you would be if you knew what it meant. Anyway, you will have food in the cupboard and look out every evening, around 5-ish. Solum will bring your laundry. Leave the door open and go for your walk or something. Let Solum clean the house properly." He skimmed through the rest of the page. God! She could write about the mundane. Some switch here, some nail there, the adorable cluster of daisies somewhere ...

Since I have been asked this numerous times in the last week... 1. Being separated is NOT the same thing as being divorced. And no, I don't think the marriage is 'dead'. If it were the person would be divorced. If you are dating someone who claims to be separated and is 'as good as divorced' etc., do not believe him or her. Because the marriage is still on.  2. If you are 'separated' and dating someone, then maybe don't string someone else along. Or realize that you may be getting strung along because the other person is only interested in you BECAUSE you are married. So you being in a marriage leaves the other person free to not 'commit' or whatever. 3. If there are children involved, I don't know what is the point in knotting up everyone's life by having an affair. 4. If children are not involved, again I don't see the point in having a new partner without getting out of a marriage.  5. If you don't have the financial means and ...