Toe

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 Today I tended to my toe. Had contemplated going to the doctor but didn't. Had a call in the morning and then there is the whole sweet deal of coordinating when the cook and the cleaning help arrive.

Anyway, it started hurting badly again in the night. So called up my friend who recommended that I wait it out if I couldn't stand the pain. I have to clean the wound and all that. I think it is one way to really get in touch with the body. 

I had read Louise Hay's 'You can heal your life' many years ago. I had loved it and it spoke to me. 

It is a book about the general mind-body connection and how diseases and ailments point to the out-of-sync conditions we put ourselves in. The foundational concept of this book is that if you experience pain or trouble in the body, there is an accompanying mental thought pattern to accompany it. It naturally follows, then, that if you want to resolve the problem, you change the way you think (by also taking other measures if that's what you are comfortable doing.)

Anyway, according to the book, nails represent protection and toes represent thoughts of the future. So damaging the toenail could indicate that I am feeling unprotected and vulnerable regarding the future. In my case, at least, this part is slightly true. After leaving my brother and father's place, at times, I do feel a tad overwhelmed. Of course, I am in a state of great privilege that I am grateful for. But that sense of just having to handle everything alone may have been operating on my psyche too much.

Anyway, I got the meds. I will faff around for a bit and then get to dressing my wound. 

Now I know it sounds silly but whenever I feel pain in my body, I talk to it. Talk to that part of the body that hurts and talk to the pain as well. It's not really pain. It's something wanting my attention and it usually is something that has wanted my attention for a while. Maybe it's time to say hello to the bloodied toe and find out what's happening.

That's that then. 

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