Jhurzhday

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 Feel a little heavy-hearted. Heard some news today that suddenly made me remember all the silent hours I had invested in deciding whether it was time to leave a job and then actually type out a resignation letter. I felt bad. It has been a while since I left working in a job but truth be told...I had loved working in companies. The feeling of getting together to work on a project, that little segment in-between projects when a colleague becomes a friend, when you turn up to work on an ordinary day and you get to a project that really makes you come alive...it is beautiful. And you want to do so much.

And then stuff happens and the erosion starts. Your joy, your life, your time,your health, your values. You realise that this machine just needs to be fed incessantly. And it will never be enough. You will never be enough. And then you decide to go away. 

That really is a stab in the gut. That feeling that it's time to end things. 

Anyway, that is that. 

I didn't get as much work done today. It was so exhausting. Maybe I should get a few hours in now? No. The day has ended.

Will chill for some time and sleep off. Feeling sad. 



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