Chiffonesque

 Will make this quick: 1. A beautiful walk in the neighborhood. A bush had lavender blossoms that looked so serene and meditative. I also saw an uprooted tree which was slightly tragic. But the exposed roots looked magical - like the workings of a complicated destiny. (I have some pictures on Instagram, which you could check out.) 2. https://youtu.be/JHm39JA0YoE - I have been bingeing on this show so hard. I watch segments of this show on YouTube and I love it. I would like to be a salesperson in a store like this. (I love bridal gowns - especially the fitted ones with lace and beading all over. The online H&M store also carried a selection a while ago.) 3. Made a dip with vegetarian mayo, chopped green chillies, and a smidgeon of mustard oil. Had this with poha and corn chips.

There are some NGOs that send you updates for the specific individuals whose cause you contribute to. So if you have given money for someone's baby's hospitalization, you get an update on how the baby is faring.  At times you get a message that the baby has passed away. Could not be saved. It is really, really hard. I had written to these organisations on considering alternative therapy. In my experience, medical treatment without insurance can really break your back, stress out the family, and I think maybe the patient himself or herself starts feeling that they are being a burden and should not continue. Of course little babies may not know what is going on. But slightly older children, the elderly... My mom's treatment for breast cancer was so one entirely without insurance. I am so grateful that we could all earn and bring in the funds as and when required. But it can cripple a family for years to come, even after the patient is no more.  It's not like I think that ...

Today I finished my last day at the company I was contracted with. It was a three-month contract and a good stint. I really like working like that...one or two months at a time. I want to be so good at my work that when people engage me on a project for a brief spell, it should feel like a 'season of Mukta'. That's nice, I think...I like to see myself as a season and not a freelancer. The thing is that I have started feeling like I am not very good at my work anymore. Because it is coming too easy. And I am not giving the work to percolate inside me, stew a little, maybe even become rancid and acidic...but basically mingle with all the other words and failures and successes I have had in life. I want to do some work, some writing, some creation of course content - where the pain shows through but not the labour. I don't know if it makes sense. Now, obviously, nobody on LinkedIn is really looking for a 'season of Mukta' or anything like that. (It is heartening to...

When my office was in Marol, commute was tough. At times, I would wait for over an hour and a half and not get an autorickshaw. Often, buses would be crowded. Cabs would be too costly. No one was carpooling and I wasn't friends with anyone who could drive. There was no Ola or Uber. So I would often walk home from Marol Naaka to Ambedkar Road, Bandra West.  It was a long walk and during rains, it was especially treacherous with open drains, potholes, etc.  Still, the toughest part about that journey was crossing the road to get to the other side. Cars would not stop or even slow down. There was no cop and the red light didn't really matter. So I would wait there, on the side. A crowd would form. A gathering of a motley group with assorted footwear (heels, slippers, Oxfords, sneakers, etc.), different types of clothes (snug skirts, low-rise jeans, rayon trousers beginning at the chest, tees, blouses, etc.), and different types of strides (long, sideways, teeny tiny advancements,...

I went for a short walk around the neighborhood. I had to buy a few kgs of rice but all the shops were shut by the time I reached them it was around 6:45 in the evening and the sky was a rose potion pink. It was beautiful. I had just opened a suitcase full of clothes that had come from Bangalore. Found a snug black tee from Nike with bright pink and white stones studded on it. I like stuff like that - things that make black cheery. Wore that with a pair of joggers (such a useless style of pants) and a plain old mask.  The parks in Vashi are outrageously beautiful now! The green is pure and grass gleam like shards of jewels. Sure, the parks haven't been mowed but the trees have grown and gotten stronger and so many vines and creepers seem to have taken over neighborhood walls. It was quite a sight! I felt like I was walking through the Metropolitan Museum of Leaves. There should be such a thing. I have been journaling a fair bit today and I can honestly say that it is not just savin...