What grows under

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I spent the last couple of days in Bandra where I had gone to just clean up the place because no-one is staying there at the moment. 2020 is not the year that we will possibly be renting it out. I wonder if I want to ever rent it out now. I want to make it a sparse, sanctuary type of place where anyone can just come, close their eyes for a spell, breathe in and out, look out the window and merge with treetops.

I can't explain this about the Bandra home. Before the lockdown, we were trying to give it out on rent and I was talking to a lot of brokers. They were all asking me about details like how many bedrooms, Bandra East or West, does it come with a fridge, etc. All valid and worthy questions. But it just put me off property dealing for a while. I have never really been very rooted as an adult. As a child I stayed all my life in one place because my mom wanted us to be in Bombay. Once Papa had written to me that our family could move to Aqaba, where he was. Or we could live in London where he was getting a job. And I wouldn't have really minded that. (My preference was Aqaba. I hadn't been to London at the time but Aqaba with the khubuz breads, olive and mince kababs, and really really sweet people were my pick.) Well, we didn't go anywhere. But then we grew up and my family decided to move to Vashi where we have a much bigger home. But I stayed back in Bandra. Like an old bruise. 

Anyway, sometimes I think I should have roots now. Whatever I have deduced from the chakra meditations I am doing, my root chakra is weak. So there is a tendency to feel scattered and all over the place. And interestingly the book that impacted me the most...so much so that it divided my reading life into two... before reading that book and after reading that book. That book is Roots by Alex Haley.

The book, 'Roots', the Bandra home, the decision to stay on in one place...all of these have been gifts from my mother. This is why sometimes I think I sense a connection of why were together, why we belonged, or what her role in my life was...to hand out the crayon that was missing in my set. 

Someday I will evolve enough to see the big picture - all sketched and filled out in vibrant Crayola. 

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