Day 81 of 14,600

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Today is Indian Army Day.

Ola informed me of this when I stepped out in the brittle cold of a Bangalore night. I had to take a cab to traverse the short distance from the co-working space to my home. But there were no autos and I couldn't walk because I was feeling lazy.

I could not make it for lunch to my friend's home but I ate a lot of food from outside - a pack of chhole and vegetable rice from Faasos, a wrap from Faasos as well. It came with this chilly-garlic powder that was very tasty. I added it to my rice because that was bland. I went to CCD for a cappuccino with vanilla flavour and then at night, I got a Coke, a large fries, a Mexican Bean Salsa veg burder and a McAloo tikki burger from McDonald's.

I was planning to skip dinner but that is okay. I will work out extra tomorrow and revert to sparse eating tomorrow.

Today was one of those days where I had to attend meeting, finish one task, attend another call, and then had to tackle a large hunk of work. I felt exhausted - to the point of tears. It was not the sort of task you could do in an easy-breezy way, listening to music or something like that. You had to hunker down and do it.

And I did it.

I really think that I am getting stronger as a writer. The skill and talent I still have to evaluate but the unsexy but important aspects of just solidly finishing what I started - I do believe that I am getting better at that.

You know this is what amazes me - how we will irrevocably get better at whatever we do mindfully every day.

Today I think I burned a lot of calories getting out of my playsuit at work. I wore a white V-neck longsleeved tee from Benetton with a wide-legged black linen playsuit from And. It was a very chic outfit. However, the linen suit did not have any elastic so getting out of it to go and pee was quite a task. But no matter. On tough days, I like looking chic.

I came home and I lit some incense and lit a candle and put it out of my home. I love having this little ritual for my home.

There are two kinds of arriving, I feel. One is the grand finish at the end of the race - when you tear across the rope and claim victory. There is another kind which is quieter, more calm, and soothing. It's when you find yourself in a sweet, cozy spot - maybe a place you have lost your way to. It's not design. It's not direction. It is the result of a benign but lazy destiny.

That's what I feel when I boil some water in the kettle and light up my candles.

I feel that I have arrived.


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