Wednesday, December 09, 2015


Last night two friends came over. We sat in the balcony and opened a bottle of whiskey and I had a lot and I felt really bad, sad, and crappy today. But last night - was nice. We had lit three candles in the balcony. It was really pretty. I don't have too much recollection of what exactly we talked about but somewhere I just felt that there is too much information. Too many thoughts. Too much thinking about the thoughts and sharing those thoughts and changing those thoughts and then thinking about the change and whatever else. At some point, I slept in the children's room. The guys slept in the other bedroom - the one that was messy because it had all my clothes piled up on the bed. The poor guys had to clear all that to find the bed and then sleep on it.

It was quite nice to wake up in the morning and to find the bed cleared.

But I am done with whiskey, I think. Done with drinking. It is just not suiting me anymore.

Mom is better at times and not so good at other times. I think I was hoping the whiskey to numb this uncertainty. (I know, rookie mistake.) But never mind. I'll stick to Red Bull.



mona said...

Please be safe. Don't drink too much so that you pass out. You never know what can happen. Even if you trust the guys. You see, by that time, they are drunk too.

Besides the warning, the excess alcohol also brings the depression next day. And the quickest way to get out of it is to drink again.
Yop see where I am going with this?

mukta raut said...

:-) true...but these guys are really nice people. you're right though. i don't think i can handle alcohol anymore. Not enjoying it so much...but i do see where you were going with that observation. maybe over an empty, long weekend, will give it a try!