Irritation and brinjals

I hate this day. I hate it. This morning this dunce of a watchman came and started clanging the gate. I had to move my car because the house opposite to ours is having some kind of a puja. I told him I’d be taking the car out in the next half-hour as I would be leaving for office. He came 15 minutes later and started clanging the gates again. Irritating dunce buffoon constipated donkey with a twisted tail. I yelled at him and told him that he was irritating me. And then he makes these funny eyes and says, “Nahin madam, hum to naukar aadmi hai.” Sappy, on top of that. I told him that he was not naukar aadmi, but he was an irritating aadmi. To which he insisted that no, he was not irritating, but he was a naukar. No-one’s a naukar. They are all irritating and they clang at my gate.

Then I get inside my car and there’s really little fuel. I somehow got it to office. Now I don’t know how I will go back. The only problem with petrol is that it costs money. Why should it cost money? And why should it cost so much? Oh…and brinjals cost a whole lot too. I mean..brinjals! Why should brinjals cost money? It’s not even fuel. Or who knows? It might be. No-one’s tried running a car on mashed brinjal. Or maybe that infernally loud, irritating naukar admi has tried.

I don’t have fuel, I don’t have a parking space today and tomorrow and I don’t have money. Someone needs to feed me a brinjal.