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Today was a difficult day and it looks like it will not be getting any easier in the coming days or months. Today I realised that I am stuck in some thought patterns deeper than what I had thought of. But no matter. One can systematically work through a lot of these things and whether the outcome is favorable or not, the process will be a worthy undertaking.

I should cook some dinner now.

Okay - so sauteing some plant-based sausages from BlueTribe. Will have it with daal and paratha. Some puranpolis were done today but they were not very good.

Went to the gym. 

Anyway, here are all the things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well.

2. Took a stand today and worked on it. The stuff is not complete but I at least started on it.

3. Cleaning lady had come today.

4. Got cabs to and from Vashi easily.

5. Reached safely although both cabs were going really fast.

6. Had food in the fridge and water in the taps.

7. Had a good chat with my friend.

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 A few strange things happened today. I went to sleep around 7. I think I am coming down with a cold and fever. Body was tired. But I couldn't sleep well. I had a few strange dreams. I don't remember but I remember it being slightly unpleasant involving a man who was delivering something...or a postman.

I can feel it in the air now. Rough and painful times and tides ahead. Still, here are a few things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well.

2. Got a couple of books delivered.

3. Tried out this AI tool for presentation, Gamma. Really cool.

4. Managed to go to the gym and did a full 60 minute workout.

5. Cook had made parathas that I enjoyed with a mash of ghee and dark jaggery. It is awesome!

6. Fit into my column black dress that I used to wear 4 years ago.

7. Have a house to stay, money for food, good friends, water in the taps, and help that turns up.

8. Have lots of books. It's such a delicious little haven.

9. Spoke to a friend from way back. Great chat. Felt soothed and relaxed.

10. Something was weighing on my mind today and I had a quick chat with another friend about it. That was a relief. But I want to start doing a few things to build on our discussion. But for today, am grateful that the first step has been taken. 

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 There is a lot of weariness and tenderness. Could be that time of the month. Which I like. It's like nature takes matters in its own hands and then enforces you to soften your heart, soak your expectations of yourself in acceptance, and relax. I like periods. It's quite a marvel.

Here are all the things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. Did not speak to him yesterday but no sudden phone calls. So, we notch that down to things being as good as they can be at the moment. 

2. Got my kitchen lights fixed.

3. Averted an eye-related accident. 

4. Went to watch Weapons last night. As a movie it is not all that scary but I think the way it has woven in Biblical references is really good! 

5. Cook had made really tasty khichdi yesterday - with soya chunks. I had it with a really yummy Naga chilli pickle that my friend had given me day before.

6. I asked ChatGPT about how many books I should be reading a month to hit my career and personal goals. It recommended 4 to 6. DeepSeek and Grok mentioned 12 to 15 books for mastery. It helpfully told me that I am not getting any younger so there is less time to accomplish goals anyway. The sobering factor is that I am not even able to finish one book. And I keep buying books and stacking them. I don't know what kind of psychological reasons underlie this. But I think that reading generally can result in and/ or demands internal transformation. So that itself is a scary thing if you feel that your foundations are weakening (in my case my father's health and my own fatigue.) So because internal transformation is not something I feel like committing to, I do the first step of nudging towards a different identity and leave it at that. (This is also an insight I got off ChatGPT. But upon reflection, I think it is a damn good observation. It's the same with clothes. So many times the clothes or shoes or make-up represents the person we want to be. But to actually be that person requires effort. So it's good to just buy something and stay comfortable in the thought that my job is done.)

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 Yesterday was a disappointing day. I had to make a few compromises. Just because I had been weak and not prepared in the days preceding yesterday. Never mind. Will forgive myself by and by. But lessons learnt. Or are they?

I am not liking the way today is going either. Did some reading - but it is heavy reading so it is taking a toll. Just want my life and my weekends back. 

Long endless travel tomorrow and an uncertainly long night today. But anyway, time to make some changes in the mindset. A few things am grateful for:

1. The wisdom and love of my mother. She's no more but each passing day I sense just how tremendous she was.

2. Spoke to Papa today. He is not getting stronger but...I suppose one had signed up for a long and limping recovery. 

3. Have a roof over my head.

4. Have water in the taps.

5. There's food in the fridge.

6. Enjoying my cup of strong coffee.

7. I liked it when H asked me if she could also have coffee in the afternoon with me. I told her to make it strong and not that milky brown way she usually does it. Offered to make it for her. But she got a little scared because I generally have coffee black or really strong. She said that she will wash the clothes and then make her cup. I saw her savoring it by the window. That's what coffee is - solace in a sand dune of time.

8. Reconnected with an old friend. Felt good. Did feel a tad worried about how things are going with him. But it is all good. 

9. Found an empty Moleskine notebook. It's black and empty and like all empty notebooks, it brims with the possibility of what can happen.

10. It was an emotionally charged day. That was not pleasant but I am trying to reframe the experience as something to be thankful about. Like the poem by Mary Olivier, 'The Uses of Sorrow':

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

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 day passed

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I just feel so scattered and broken. My attention has been waning, my focus is dead, I have not been able to meet Papa although I spoke with him, it is cold and windy, I was having slight fever, and the work was a lot. But it is precious...the way things got done today. I hadn't made a to-do list but I got a couple of emails indicating that a few tasks needed to be prioritised. After that, I just started my laptop, made a few bullet points in my head and plodded on. 

I will make some coffee now and read a little. 

It's cold and rainy and I am waiting for the night to end. 

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Dad had a scheduled check-up with the doctor. It took really long and my last ounce of patience. The doctor was nice. However I found the nurses a little insensitive - rather one of them. Anyway, Papa is back home and trips to the hospital is what I am really grateful for...for having money in the bank. It's like whatever you estimate to spend, you spend twice the amount. 

Managed to make it to the Ma Kali temple and it was gorgeous! Along with Janmashtami, there was a Ma Kali celebration too. Today she was draped in a brinjal-indigo hued cotton saree with a maroon zari border. The garland was several thick circles of hibiscus, mogras, and marigold. It was gorgeous.

Then went off to meet a friend at her place and it was such a blissful chill evening. I wore my white shiny top and grey jeans. That top that makes me look like tinsel is one of the happiest joyous item of clothing I have. I wear that and any child that looks in my direction starts smiling with their eyes a little wide. I really do look like a party train. 

My cabbie from the temple to Ghatkopar was exceptionally kind and sweet! I just ended the ride and kept saying thank you for a couple of minutes and topped him. His smile was bright and cheery. Like my top. 

Today, it rained sparkles.

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 One more day has passed and I spent a long time dead and vacant-eyed. I don't know - I just feel tapped out. 

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 I am tired. Went to the gym and it was a good session. Felt a little bored today. I had a rather nice ride back to Bandra - even though I was stuck in traffic, the car was so comfortable and smelled so nice that I drifted off to a luscious sleep.

Papa is well - if not well, he is getting on. Hopefully, next week, things should be better. It was nice and slick and rainy today. 

Had a nice phirni at home. Damn neat! Had called for a massage this morning - it was okay.

Anyway, I asked ChatGPT to translate 10 of Lord Krishna's teachings into a daily tracker. This is the result it gave me and it is remarkably good:

1. Do your duty without attachment to results

Karmanye vadhikaraste, ma phaleshu kadachana.
Focus on effort, not outcome. This frees you from anxiety and keeps your work sincere.

2. Adapt to circumstances without losing your values
Krishna often changed tactics to suit the moment — but never compromised core principles.

3. Use wisdom over brute force
He won many conflicts not by fighting but through strategy, diplomacy, and understanding human nature.

4. Keep your mind steady in success and failure
Don’t let highs inflate your ego or lows break your spirit — both are temporary.

5. Guide others when you see them lost
Krishna didn’t fight the war himself, but his counsel to Arjuna changed the outcome.

6. Accept that change is constant
Life cycles through creation, preservation, and destruction. Embracing impermanence makes you resilient.

7. Master your desires before they master you
Uncontrolled wants cause restlessness; moderation brings peace.

8. Serve a purpose bigger than yourself
Krishna acted for dharma — the greater good — even when it meant personal sacrifice.

9. Balance joy and responsibility
He played the flute and danced with the gopis, yet shouldered the heavy role of guiding a kingdom.

10. Trust that the right action, done consistently, aligns with the larger order
Sometimes results take time — but right action never goes to waste.

---

If you want, I can give you a practical “Krishna framework” — one modern-day habit for each of these 10 lessons, so they don’t just stay as philosophy but become daily practice. That’s how they really stick.

You said:

yes please

ChatGPT said:

Alright — here’s your Practical Krishna Framework with one actionable habit for each lesson, so you can live them instead of just remember them.

---

1. Do your duty without attachment to results

Habit: Set a daily effort goal (e.g., “write for 30 minutes” or “practice for 1 hour”) instead of a results goal. Tick it off regardless of outcome.

2. Adapt to circumstances without losing your values

Habit: When plans change, ask yourself: “What’s my non-negotiable here?” Keep that intact, adjust the rest.

3. Use wisdom over brute force

Habit: Before tackling a problem, take 2 minutes to list at least two non-obvious solutions — you’ll start training your mind to think strategically.

4. Keep your mind steady in success and failure

Habit: At the end of each day, write down one success and one setback — treat both with equal reflection, no over-celebrating or over-worrying.

5. Guide others when you see them lost

Habit: Once a week, reach out to someone who seems stuck (at work or personally) and offer a listening ear or small piece of advice.

6. Accept that change is constant

Habit: Every month, deliberately change one routine (route to work, workout style, reading topic) to stay adaptable.

7. Master your desires before they master you

Habit: Choose one indulgence (e.g., sweets, social media, binge TV) and limit it to a fixed amount per week — track it.

8. Serve a purpose bigger than yourself

Habit: Commit 30–60 minutes a week to a cause you care about, even if it’s small — consistency matters more than scale.

9. Balance joy and responsibility

Habit: Schedule at least one “pure joy” activity in your week — and protect that time as seriously as a meeting.

10. Trust that the right action, done consistently, aligns with the larger order

Habit: Keep a progress journal where you log actions, not just results — review monthly to see the invisible build-up of effort.

That's it for now!

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A project just got done successfully and it feels strange and I feel a void. I want to take some time and actually write about this experience. Papa did not sound good. I will go to visit him and now move him to Bandra soon. Enough of travel etc. 

Anyway now don't feel like writing too much. Allowed myself a few minutes of pleasure to paint my nails. 

The nails are the only part of me looking good now. 

Premchand and the AI sentiment

 (As posted on LinkedIn)

Premchand and the AI-sentiment

The world today seems to be wrapped in a fever-dream of AI and attention-conquest. To make sense of the crypt and script, I look to fiction, especially short stories by Premchand. Although Premchand wrote about a different time, place, and points of power, he masterfully captured the vista of ideological fiefdom. There are the landmark stories of ‘Kafan’ and ‘Godaan’, of course, but nowadays I reflect on the short story, ‘Bade Ghar ki Beti’ (loosely translated, it means ‘daughter of a big/ rich house’ or, in the case of most Premchand stories, of ‘upper class’).

The story goes thus: a woman from an affluent family marries into the house of a common teacher. The man and his family are sweet to her, but the brother-in-law is rough around the edges. Still, the lady accepts her married family as her own, and the lines dissolve. One day, the brother-in-law brings in two fowls and asks the lady to cook them. There is very little ghee in the kitchen, and the lady uses up the ghee to cook the meat. She is not used to rationing ingredients in the kitchen, so she cooks daal without ghee. When the brother-in-law asks her why there is no ghee in the lentils, she tells him that the ghee was used up in the chicken. The brother-in-law is most upset with this news. He had bought a good amount of ghee only a few days earlier. He accuses her of not being able to manage the modest means of her house because she is so used to living in luxury. The lady is upset and the matter comes to a head. She and the brother-in-law demand ‘batwaara’ (split of property) or an arrangement where only one of them can remain in the house. Considering the times in which this was written, the split of a joint family was perceived as a loss and ignominy of the worst kind. Families did not get divided. Period. It hurts the elder brother deeply to stay apart, but he understands that his wife has already made a lot of compromises. However, the wife notices the fractured pain of the house and just when the family has to be divided for good, she goes to the brother-in-law and tells him to let bygones be bygones. The family is re-united.

She is a ‘Bade ghar ki beti’, not because of class or wealth, but because of heart. How identities morph and shape because of our emotional alignment is usually what I have loved about Premchand’s works.

This story makes me think about the use of AI in my field. I hope it takes over completely. I hope it storyboards and reviews, attends meetings, discusses schedule, trains vendors, deflects blame, gives and receives feedback, architects workflows, calculates ROI on training, panders to egos, calls out the bloat of inept experience, negotiates money, etc. I hope that it does all of this so that each one of us is replaced. And when everything is AI-centered and AI-driven, maybe we will finally begin to investigate what exactly makes us, and our work, human. Then, maybe, the batwaara can be avoided for good.