Day was strange and weird. Booked and had a massage today. Did some intense meditation - intense by my standards and that felt hard - felt like digging out shards of glass from inside me. There's a scene in Rocky or Rambo or some Stallone movie - Rambo, I think. Stallone is wounded, and he is squeezing out bullets from behind a bush and start fighting again.
Anyway, I suppose that is the point of meditation - the initial discomfort is par for the course. Of course, one must not get addicted to picking at the scabs.
Had evening by the candlelight and am not typing this out with a cup of perfectly made sweet, milky coffee. I made it as a treat, with proper sugar and all that. I am feeling restless. Just got news that someone in our team had a baby girl! That is such great news! A sweet little baby - July-born!
Lovely weather and I cooked a quick meal with barley, soya bean, and some vegetables cooked quickly in ghee. That was tasty. Had Maggi for brunch. That was nice! Something about spicy Maggi with onions, buttered tomatoes, and chopped chillies really is decadent.
I realized that the kaftan I was wearing today (from Nicobar) had such beautiful cotton. It was actually so cooling and cocooning at the same time. They're having a big sale now but I don't think I will buy anything new and fresh now.
I took an online test to check if I have ADHD. Apparently I do. I am quite high on the spectrum, I am informed. The questions seemed very generic though. This is not a clinical diagnosis, or at least a formal one. But something to go by. Still, if with ADHD, I display more focus than the people I have around me, then we are in dangerous territory.
I think Gabor Mate wrote about this in Scattered Minds.
Need to make a list of books to read and curriculum for myself and actually work through it. The HBR volume on strategy I really want to read and take notes on. I remember referencing that a fair bit when I was doing pre-sales work.
This psychological concept of dissociation is quite fascinating.
Anyway my mind is racing and I want to finish watching one YouTube video. This is it for today.
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