Sweet and sour soup...day...same thing...

 This past month, a lot of people have been hitting me up asking for work, contacts, references, advice, etc. To the extent that I can help, I have. But some employers have blacklisted a few. Some others have told me that the people I am recommending have demonstrated ineptitude and unprofessionalism so blatant that I'd be hurting my own reputation by pushing their names. I have been on the trenches for both sides for fairly long. But on the side of being a freelance gig worker for much longer. And the rent for choosing to stay independent is due everyday. And to be honest, I have not always paid it happily. But I have paid it. 

But lately, I find a certain bloated self-importance creeping into my ilk. (The worrisome part is that if I recognize it, it is possibly growing in me too.) There were a few people who have been reaching out to me ever so often. I don't have any leads. So I tell them to create some content and put it out there on LinkedIn or send them via email. But none of them have done that. So I asked them that maybe they should consider shifting to another profession. Maybe ID is not for them. But they say...and this hurts me...they say that they 'love' learning design.

Now here's the thing. Let's say learning design were a person. When it gave you money and freedom and you got the attention from a boss and the onsite assignments, etc., you 'loved' it. Today when that industry itself requires you to give more than you are getting - your time, your attention, your energy, your creativity - it's suddenly not worth it. How is this different from gold digging? And how can any reasonable human being be okay with that?

I think we can be okay with this because this is how we understand love. As long as I am getting something, this is worth it. If I have to give something with the uncertainty of every getting anyhting back - suddenly it's not worth it. The world is unfair. People are bad. And that may well be the case - but why do we think that we deserve any better?

It's like sex. Why has that become so important suddenly? Okay- maybe it is not sudden. But sex is not love. In my eyes, it is a complete and absolute waste of time. But even if it is not. Even if it is transcendental and orgasmic, etc., it is still.not.love. 

I don't know if this parallel comes across as much. But I do think that challenging times call for challenging measures. The times are hard and it calls for creativity. And creativity that goes beyond the 4 tattoos and 7 piercings and a token shitty band that one karaokes with. It is the time to display creativity that requires one to tell yourself whatever narrative you need to, to suck it up and get better, or really, get out and stay out.

In other news, I had a really nice time in Thane today. Met a friend and we spent 7 hours! It was so nice and easy and comforting. We tried out a place called St. Anthony's Cafe. It had such a tasty Korean spicy burger and two cups of lovely cappuccino. Then my friend and I went to Ricky's. It was such a charming little pub - we had lavender iced tea and onion rings. They were playing Backstreet Boys, etc. The rickshaw rides to and from Thane cost a fair bit but...oh! it was lovely! To be free and open with a friend - honestly - without one's hidden agenda of seeking validation for being liked - is a precious feeling. 

Feeling good. Also, I was done witha  video script quicker than I imagined. That was nice!

Overall, Monday began well!