Day 45 of 108

I really lost my cool with the caretaker in Vashi. She is so stubborn. The precious pipe-gas was shut down unceremoniously and my father's meal still had to be cooked. I had told her long back about the induction cooker and things like that. But she had disregarded this. And today again she was resisting it. So I got really angry. Then taught her how to use a rice cooker. Which was brought down and cleaned after ages. 

I was really really upset. She has lost some precious cups that my mother had saved. The worst part is that she doesn't even feel bad about it. 

Did not meet my father because he had gone out. I am trying really hard to not let that bother me. I realize that so much of this botheration is a pattern. I have been irked by this a thousand times before and I am irked about this now as well. But I sense, through some flimsy detachment, that I am not really bothered. Being bothered is just a familiar situation. And I can overturn that situation. It is not easy though. 

I went by auto but returned by train. Really had to battle my lethargy to do this. And even walked home from Bandra station. Got some movement in but the real victory was the impulse to just call for an auto. 

I am part of a book club and now it is irritating me a little bit. Can't figure out why. Maybe it's the heat. 

I had a bad and unpleasant dream. In the dream I am looking down from my window onto a street brawl. There is a jeep and two groups of men. One is wearing a yellow t-shirt and specs with black frames. I see that there are cops who have been bribed and are not stopping the brawl. I am not sure how but I think I see a young child...little girl...maybe 8 or 10...she has been wrapped in tape and there is tape across her mouth and she is made to sit as a dummy in the jeep. And people are taking her around in the jeep. I know that those people (cops, yellow t-shirt guy) are involved but it's hard to know the sequence of events. It felt very real.

I can't shake it off.

Anyway here are a few things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well.

2. Managed to teach the caretaker how to use the rice cookey.

3. The ticket dispensing machine at the station responded to MY touch. This never or very rarely happens! So I didn't have to wait in long queues.

4. Had food.

5. Had Pani Puri at Guru Kripa on SV Road. This was my treat for being good and saving a little money.