I am so fed up...of people, of life, of rigmarole of living. I just.want.out.
I want to really go to the mountains. Or a smooth space. I am in pain. No two ways about it. I don't know what is causing it though.
It is really really rough. Anyway here are a few things I am grateful for...and let tge records show that I actually wrestled with myself today to think of things to be grateful for:
1. Papa is well. I spoke to him and then later he messaged me too.
2. Got through the day.
3. A friend came over at night.
4. Tofu bhurji and sprouts chilla was good.
5. Managed going to the gym.
1 comment:
Hi. I feel like I have to write something. To the extent that my perpetual tiredness allows. And shall assume that there is no euphoria to be found, here.
I have spent many years now trying to find ways to have some semblance of distraction. Understanding artistic merit in music. And media, later. Watching professional Counter-Strike (a videogame with a strange purity). Importantly, learning things without trying to monetize the knowledge. Ever. No competitive exams. No society. Learning, importantly, in a chronological order, to help prevent the Seinfeld effect. Spending the most time finding good books... and even more time arranging them in a proper sequence.
But, if that is not helpful..... there is something else. That will be. I assure you of that.
Try to comfortably increase the gaps between breaths in a state of essential sensory deprivation. Nothing in common with relaxation, or focus. Do this. Please. You may discover something interesting. And definite.
Wish the best for you.
Thanks for reading :)
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