Friday, April 17, 2026

Day 30 of 108

 I am so fed up...of people, of life, of rigmarole of living. I just.want.out.

I want to really go to the mountains. Or a smooth space. I am in pain. No two ways about it. I don't know what is causing it though.

It is really really rough. Anyway here are a few things I am grateful for...and let tge records show that I actually wrestled with myself today to think of things to be grateful for:

1. Papa is well. I spoke to him and then later he messaged me too.

2. Got through the day.

3. A friend came over at night.

4. Tofu bhurji and sprouts chilla was good.

5. Managed going to the gym. 


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi. I feel like I have to write something. To the extent that my perpetual tiredness allows. And shall assume that there is no euphoria to be found, here.

I have spent many years now trying to find ways to have some semblance of distraction. Understanding artistic merit in music. And media, later. Watching professional Counter-Strike (a videogame with a strange purity). Importantly, learning things without trying to monetize the knowledge. Ever. No competitive exams. No society. Learning, importantly, in a chronological order, to help prevent the Seinfeld effect. Spending the most time finding good books... and even more time arranging them in a proper sequence.

But, if that is not helpful..... there is something else. That will be. I assure you of that.

Try to comfortably increase the gaps between breaths in a state of essential sensory deprivation. Nothing in common with relaxation, or focus. Do this. Please. You may discover something interesting. And definite.

Wish the best for you.

Thanks for reading :)

Day 57 of 108

 It was a weird and horrible and nice day. It sort of ended with PF Chang dinner. But I learned a few things here. Life is strange. One hope...