It is 3:50 a.m. I have had fits of rage and in a bid to deal with it, have cooked a lot of Maggi, added pasta to it, lots of butter and cheese, and have scarfed it down.
I don't know if reading No Bad Parts by Robert Schwartz and the Internal Family System is having that effect. But I feel feral.
Still, sometimes lucidity comes. So, this part from the book really moved me. I don't have the inclination to give context. So, here it is:
"That's why it really helps them to realize that you're not that young age anymore. They stay stuck, however, not because they're not sure how old you are, but because they live in the past - frozen in time in the traumas that you experienced. That's why they still think they have to protect other parts who were hurt by those experiences, too, and are carrying the burdens - the extreme beliefs and emotions - from those times. They feel alone with all that pressure and terror. The simple act of turning your focus inside and beginning to listen and talk to them and let them know they aren't alone - because you are there to care for them - is quite radical and so welcome to the inner orphanage."
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