When I lived in Powai long years ago, one of my flatmates worked in the R&D department of a major FMCG giant. She would tell us about lab results, etc. and how some mice got their skin peeled off because it came in contact with a formula. So the formula for the detergent changed on account of the rat's reaction being documented.
My other roommate and I found that cruel and grotesque. So we started buying some 'organic', cruelty-free washing powder. And our denims got paper thin and we started getting rash. Our FMCG friend told us that 'organic' as a label was used by companies to bypass the stringent trials and approval process. The bar for organic was so low that if you showed you used 4 machines instead of 6, your product was organic. But in reality it was such sickeningly low-grade material that it actually harmed people and environment more...simply because it was not amenable to scrutiny.
Maybe things have changed over the years. And I do think if one can avoid products with animal testing, one should. At least in fragrances and cosmetics. But I did see her point then and I see it now...that just because something is herbal or organic, you don't ask why or how.
And this, I find, is the state of counselling and counsellors in Bombay. Since the last few days, I have been researching and looking up counsellors online. Several of them were recommended by people who have availed of their services. Satisfactorily. Although I think those people are as stuck as ever - even more so, now that their stuckness comes from an expert-approved label. But that need not mean that those psychologists were not good. I mean, if you saw the average idiocy of a Hindu, you would think that the religion is a disaster. But it's not.
So I decided to give a few a try. They were all expensive. I spent a ton of time and energy. And if ever vapid vapor had a poster-child, it would be a montage of all the people I spoke with. In full disclosure, I am reading Internal Family Systems now...so the expert-speak may have been sounding banal to me because in the book, the author details out meditations and exercises you can do to immediately get a sense of what you can experience if the modality is for you. Whereas in person all these people want to book you into more sessions so they can earn more.
But I had wanted to explore this with an open heart. So I did that. And what bugged me was the complete lack of transparency and accountability in all the people I spoke with. I asked quite point blank that what would progress look like for me? First they all start out with dull analogies with the gym - "Only 1 day or week will not make a difference." Okay. But my gym instructor had broken it down for me on how my body will respond to training over a month. Heck...even a tarot card reader and healer had given some cues to look for and they had broken this down week by week.
But these counsellors who keep tomtomming about mental health were unwilling ot worse, unable, to address this question adequately. I think they even tried to dodge it and told me that I was wrong for asking such definite answers. It's all so subjective. So I told them point blank that the rates they charge are not subjective. So how about they keep a minimum fee but anything over and above that, i pay if I get value or see progress. This pissed off one of them.
My next question was that why should I believe that they will help me if they don't have skin in the game regarding my recovery. (If you are so keen to equate 'psychological counselling' with 'medical science' and you have an MD, surely practical rigor cannot be such a surprise for you.) They didn't have an answer to that either. And these are the people who make fun of Reiki healers because they keep swimming about in talks about energy.
One of them told me that they give good exercises and great analyses that will help me. I showed him the excellent work plan that I had got from ChatGPT. He visibly bristled.
And my question is simply this...why are you not willing to walk away from this huge amount of money if you are so sure that your method will work? Why is your compensation structure so absolute?
If I hired a digital marketing expert, they charge based on some acceptable criteria of performance. And since I have done alternative therapy for a long time, even the good ones have money-back guarantees.
But the general sense that I got...was that you should not expect anything...not answers, not accountability. I had long suspected that this therapy and stuff is not for me. And now after considerable expense and investment of time and energy, I am 100% sure of it. Not.for.me. At least the Indian ones.
I am getting far, far more from a book and ChatGPT and DeepSeek than these counselling sessions. You need a good strong reading habit and really good prompts. Anyone who says that these are completely useless is incorrect. Yes you have to be careful. But you can hold AI accountable by questioning its methods, asking for references, etc. Not so with the experts I met. They will not give you a straight answer and will charge you for overtime. And prescribe erratic medication.
But no matter. I saw how greed can be cloaked so cleverly. That at least is a valuable lesson.
My other observation is that I think that counselling today is becoming what marriage and having babies was sometime ago. Incessant talk about it and the general ethos that life and living is incomplete without them.
No. It's not. It's just another kind of brainwashing that one has to guard oneself against. Otherwise one will find oneself with the counselor the way one found oneself with a demented spouse and an unwanted child...trapped.
(P.S. - Another reason I didn't like one of the offices was because of this sleepy cat in the above pictures. It was sleeping below the photo of a poster asking one to avoid comfort zones. Sigh.)
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