I have so much to write about today. Don't know where to begin.
I had a really bad dream. I dreamt that the roof of my bedroom was leaking and the walls were bloated with sewage. I was trying to protect myself but couldn't. (Many days ago, I'd had a dream where there was a downpour and the roof had crashed or was crashing on me. I was flailing about to protect myself but I couldn't. At the entry of the bedroom door, I saw my mum and dad standing and watching me.) These dreams have felt very vivid. In fact, the first time I saw this dream, I was paralyzed with fear.
I used to be very interested in and also good at dream interpretation. When you dream of walls of your home becoming weak or the roof crashing down, it means that one is generally feeling exposed and vulnerable and defenceless. Water represents emotions, so it is likely that I am feeling defenceless against processing large waves of emotion. It could mean that my usual protocol for protecting myself against feelings is failing.
Seeing my parents at the doorway loking at me and not intervening could be indicating a situation where I do not feel supported or protected by my parents. Mom is no more. And things are tight and tough with Dad. So yes, the feeling of overwhelm could be true. Work is also giddying at times in terms of volume and expectation of time and energy.
Anyway, I am quite good at interpreting dreams. I used to do that quite accurately in college and later on when I started working. But stopped. Still, if anyone wants their dream interpreted, I could do that. You can write to me at mukta.raut@gmail,com.
I woke up upset and burning with a desire to do something. I took a rick and went to Iskcon. I have no idea why. It could be because I'd gone to Juhu yesterday - but I just felt the need to be in Juhu again - in Inskcon where I'd see fresh pink lotuses and deep yellow-orange marigolds carefully being strewn like necklaces. It was early - around 6:30 or so. I caught a rick and Juhu beach - empty and laced with powerful rolling waves looking full and mighty - like a mighty tigress pacing in a jungle. There are very few things that can rival the open heart fortitude of an empty beach and a dancing ocean.
Iskcon, as I had anticipated, was an experience. I am still so moved by it that I don't want to write about it yet. But suffice to say that I left with a smile. Returned, warmed up some upma from yesterday for breakfast, ate and slept - a nice, dreamless sleep.
Evening went for a head massage because I woke up with a heavy head. Then later in the evening, went to Mount Mary with a friend. We tried to locate Steps - a charming teeny cafe at the stop of steps opposite St. Stephen's church - not the steps with the mosaic bits at the end of the road. (Pointing out that difference in case you want to visit.) It's built around a thick tree trunk, got a Faraway Tree feel to it. I loved the place - and aim to go there for some journaling. It's the kind of place you can take a diary and a stop-watch and just write your heart out for the time. There's a sated vibe to the place. Anyway, we had a couple of beverages and when we were leaving, the patron(ess) told us to try their hot chocolate next time - it is apparently made with 55% pure chocolate and no sugar.
Maybe I'll dream about that tonight.
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