I don't know if I have become too sensitive or thin-skinned but I seem to be getting affected by a whole lot of things. The way somebody talks or sits or stands or breathes. Or advises or fails to advise or gets involved or doesn't get involved. It is really a very weird feeling. I think that physically, somewhere in my stomach, there is a tissue or blood vessel or something that glows and throbs with human interaction. I am pretty sure that if I get scanned, one might find that. This is quite an inconvenience. It really wrecks my off time and then getting to work is tough.
There should be some system where you remove the most tender part of you every morning and wrap it up in velvet and butter paper. Then go about your day. You meet people, friends, relatives... listen to unsolicited advice, criticism, etc. But you are not affected. All the verbal load from people passes through you. Then at the end of the day, you open your locker where your tenderest part has been resting sweetly. You unwrap the velvet and butter paper with love. Then you plug it back in. Then you can sleep properly.
I was feeling bad today. Then I saw two cockroaches and I killed them. I am feeling really bad. I have never had roaches before, although my neighbors have had an infestation. Other creatures like lizards, I just yell and try to get them to leave. Even with the cockroaches I would have liked them to go away peacefully. I don't know why I killed them. Shit. I am feeling really bad.
I will pray for them tonight.
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