Things falling apart

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Pema Chodron said the following thing...and I suspect she said it after having the kind of days I have been having since the last few days:

"Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing.  We think the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved.  They come together and they fall apart.  Then they come together again and fall apart again.  It’s just like that.  The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen:  room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”

Since yesterday, things are just splintering around me. I woke up really early to finish a job that I had slipped by me. And I was emotionally exhausted. I was tired and parched and thirsty. In times like this, I always call J. She is so good at calming me down, getting me to climb down from a mental parapet, so to speak. I was able to pull myself together and complete a job with as much a clean slate as possible. Then there was a call from Dad and it's looking difficult. There's a lockdown in Bombay again. That familiar knot of nausea and panic was getting created again.

Then V came with phirni and...what really touched me was the coffee he made me. It was so nice and thoughtful and he does have some crazy skill-sets in the kitchen (which he will update you about). So the coffee was tasty and felt so good! Then he told me stories of his time at sea. And that's such a joy.

I really am so grateful for having friendships that nourish me! 

There will be much to tackle tomorrow. Got through today.

(This is the happy coffee I had. Good coffee really is a strong, supportive pal. I don't know what I would do without it.)


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