192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199 of 15,400

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I am now in Bangalore and I don't know why. I slept really well in my house last night - back to a living of slumber-bag and kettle. But when I reached Bangalore, I had a good meal at a friend's place. Then at night, I went for dinner to Koramangala. My heart was not in it. Koramangala I used to regard as a bright and shiny little treasure trove earlier. Yesterday, it felt dull. Just overall, everything is feeling dull.

I don't like it here without my mother. But then, in Bombay, I didn't quite like it without my mother being her old self either. It is very great and deep luxury, I think, to just relax and observe the decay of one's life. Because it is decaying. Every single minute, something is wilting. In that context, working to earn a living is a bit of a salvation and bit of a pain.

I went to a place called Claytopia last night. You can paint mugs at the studio while you wait for food. It was a charming place but the food wasn't so good. I was drawn to the Thukpa on the menu but it was just so mediocre. Watery, very sparse seasoning, and some kind of weird,chewy mushrooms. Anyway, that is that.

Day 1 was done. I now need a place to go and work tomorrow since I don't have a table at home. Just everything feels like wading through quicksand at the moment.

And the best way out I think, is to relax, sink deeper, and get out.

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