Some cooking has happened

Dish number 1: A chicken broth

Took 4 cups water.

Took 5 pieces of chicken leg. Rubbed them with some oil and salt and kept them on the side.

Dry roasted ajwain, peppercorn, cloves, and garlic with salt.

Pressure-cooked everything together.

Dish number 2: Baby corn

Sliced baby corn pieces in the centre.

Prepared a dry rub with rosemary, oregano, paprika, and salt.

Steamed the corn a little bit.

Coated each piece of corn with the dry rub.

Greased a pan with some butter and sauteed them.

Understanding Anger

This is a beautiful piece I came across: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5IWf1fDSNg

01, 00: Countdown ends

I had begun this countdown one tiring day at work. I had decided that, from that day, I would spend exactly these many days on the job and in Pune.

It turns out that I quit the job and left Pune much earlier.

The countdown, though, was interesting.

A friend had told me about a man called Jonathan Harris. He had started this website/ blog called www.cowbird.com. He wanted to take a picture to record each day. That was the project. I think it is like a quote by Virginia Woolfe (also told by my pal), "We marry because we don't want to live an unwitnessed life." (or we need a witness to our life - something like that.)

I wanted to write something every day so that each day of the countdown, as I was preparing for my exit from the job, Pune, and the familiarity of life that I knew it, I was still recording something. Small, beautiful, sad, ordinary, special - whatever. I was recording that.

I wanted to pay respect to the time that I had in Pune, in my job, with my colleagues and friends. Writing about each day was a way of paying respect to the hidden meaning that the hours brought.

Today the countdown ends. I live to tell the tale.

It was good. Now it is over.

Maybe for the rest of the year, I will not have a countdown. I will simply ramble and sketch out my days.

2018 - maybe I will begin a different countdown again.

02

Don't know. Felt like dressing up today. I am wearing a black cotton salwar-kameez with a colorful dupatta. It's nice and fresh. I love bright, fresh cotton.

Anyway, I dropped off my parents and uncle and aunty at the airport. They are off now and it really feels like they will have a good time. Gosh! Destiny...my parents in Japan!

There's a strange thing that happened. Some moons ago, I was almost working on an assignment for a Japanese company. I was so besotted with the idea that I kept a bunch of Japanese-related stuff around me. I wasn't exactly working on visualization but hey, there were sketches of cherry trees, etc. I guess my folks visualized it stronger than I did.So they are off. :-)

Anyway, things are good.

03

This is an article that I would like to read but won't because there isn't enough time: https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/sep/05/how-science-found-a-way-to-help-coma-patients-communicate?CMP=fb_gu

My family is leaving for Japan tomorrow.

Some friends may come over the weekend unless I need to leave the city for some work.

In the last few months of the year, I intend to get fit. My step towards being that way is meditating. Mum had a beautiful string of amber-colored rosaries which I have been using since the last two days. Will do some more meditation today.  In fact, will do it right now, make some coffee and get back to work.

Help me, Lord!

15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 09, 08, 07, 06, 05, 04

A couple of days ago, I had thought of shutting down the blog.

A month ago, I had thought of selling off my car.

Nearly a year ago, I had thought of ending my life.

I think of these three incidents because these thoughts had come to me from a place of very deep, peaceful sadness. I can't explain what this sadness feels like or what this peace feels like. I don't know why I was making such big, final decisions and on the basis of what. Maybe I forgot what all of this meant. Maybe there was no interest in continuing to guard this blog and what it stood for, my car and what that stood for, and my life and what that also stood for.

They all just felt like very big, heavy, wobbly stickers that were peeling off.

Anyway, I am writing the blog now.

My car is still there. I haven't driven it yet but I haven't sold it either.

My life - well, it still has all kinds of emotions and adventures and frustrations embroidered onto it. Haven't ended it.

My decision to continue with all three also came from a place of peaceful sadness. A gentle acknowledgment that I don't know if I am worthy of all the plans I made for each of these things...but as long as there are days when I will breathe and the sun will shine, I will remain with these things.

With a lot of tenderness and humility, I move onwards.