Thursday, January 14, 2010

On to tomorrow now! Quick!

I am so pissed off right now. So VERY pissed off. It’s just irritating when one can’t even manage to get a good night’s rest. And then to wake up and go mingle with imbeciles in this world. Surely people are getting more stupid by the second. And unfit and ugly. Like this stupid woman in tight jeans in front of me who was trotting as if it was the lobby of Four Seasons and not the Vashi station. What’ sthe use of dumb legs if you can’t even move fast! And she was SO dumb, she was actually wearing heels. HEELS! 5 sodden, stacked inches! Those jeans must be cutting off circulation to her dizzy brain, am sure.

I’m already snappy because Veronica Dumb-ass Lodge is walking so slowly in front of me, I almost miss my train. Then just as I try to rush past and get ito a compartment, she stops in the MIDDLE of the platform…and combs her hair! She combs her hair! I pull her to one side when I notice a very angry-looking woman (built like a rhino, no less) practically lunge towards her.

I’ve missed my train. I’ve missed my one shot to get to office on time for a meeting. I have missed it. My hands are clenched and I swear, if a guy would have even walked past me, I’d have socked him…just to take this anger out on someone.

This…this…Witch (that’s not really what I want to call her, by the way)…looks at me and giggles. Then she says, “Oops! You missed the train.” At that point, I have half a mind to throw her towards rhino aunty, who I catch a glimpse of now. She has muscled her way into the train and is now yelling at…gasp! a Koli fisherwoman! A woman with THAT kind of guts is not to be meddled with. (The reference to a Koli woman’s ire is not hyperbolical …I have once seen a Koli woman punch a cop – yes, that’s right - in the mouth. The man’s mouth was full of blood, and he had to actually be taken away by two pickpockets he was pursuing. In pursuit he had bumped against this woman and said something unsavoury about her weight. Then one loud thwack followed and well…it also revelaed that petty pickpockets had hearts of gold. Bizarre stuff happens.)

Anyway, Oopsie darling here, has progressed to filing her nails. And I think to myself that with all this spate of suicides happening in the city, this flake will be filled with the joy of life. Why couldn’t she stick her head in a gas oven and suffocate to death? I guess that wouldn’t work because, in those tight jeans, she must already be used to living on less oxygen.

Then another idiot sneezes behind me and startles me. I snap at him, “Kya hai?!” To which he patiently responds, “Chheek raha hoon

I do see someone wearing a really smart FCUK skirt, though, so life’s looking up (as it’s wont to do when you look at beautiful things). But just to suck the tiny mote of joy from my life, the horrible brain-dead mongrel decides to walk past and stab me in the foot with her heel. She looks behind and giggles and says ‘Sorry. Am looking for my scrunchie’ or some such nonsense. To that I reply, with ice-cold, acidic evil dripping from my tone, “I think it’s in the middle of the tracks there.” She doesn’t hear me (a pity, because I would’ve gladly taken her and left her there) and peers around for her stupid scrunchie.

Behind me, I continue to hear sneezes. I do NOT like today. Horrible, horrible day!


The Bald Guy said...


uh, Sorry!

But, seriously, ROFL!

DewdropDream said...

I'd love to highlight the bits I liked best but I now realise that would mean highlighting the wyhole piece!!

I chuckled through it all ... I'm sorry you're pissed off but oh Mukta, even your anger is entertaining!

Just Me said...

I could absolutely feel the frustration, inspite of the fact that I am not in the best of my senses myself for lack of sleep

The Bald Guy said...

Tagged you, check my blog! :)

Serendipity said...

LOL!! :D Whoever thought anger would bring out the best in you! Well me , Im hoping you have more such days :P yes im selfish