Thursday, December 20, 2007

Not a little appalled

The other day, a couple of friends mentioned that those who put up their pictures on sites such as orkut or facebook, etc. deserve to have them misused. Their rationale is that if you don’t want someone to take your picture and use it on a porn site, don’t take the risk and have it up on the Web.

I don’t agree with this line of thinking and not because I am idealistic (which is the euphemistic tag for ‘stupid’.) What’s ‘asking’ for it? With the crime rate so high, do you ‘ask for it’ if you step out of the house and get mugged or beaten or something? With corruption so rampant, do you ‘ask for it’ if you approach the courts and not get your due?

There are plenty (I mean p-l-e-n-t-y) of people, women included, who think that ladies who tempt fate by wearing provocative clothes shouldn’t complain if they get eve-teased or molested. They ‘asked for it’.

These are people I have studied with, I work with, who are currently having their applications processed at Brown’s.

In such a scenario, can we even begin to think we can do anything about marital rape? When there is a demographic that would verily believe that if you are married, then you have agreed to an arrangement of satiating your partner’s sexual needs; and well, if you aren’t going to do it willingly, you will get coerced. After all, you did consent to matrimony in the first place, didn’t you? And by doing so, you ‘asked’ for it.


April Born said...

India is an interesting state right now. The more liberal would appreciate your views - and I fall into that bracket. But there are millions of people who'd fall into your "she asked for it" bracket. Sadly, even the view that counts - that of the judiciary - seems all warped.Our judiciary likes to be methodical and mull over fine legal aspects and conveniently forget the overriding logical circumstances.

So, mate, we way have some way to go before the whole population sees eye to eye.

bluespriite said...

Most people who say this don't have the courage to fight.. she deserved it.. whether its molestation, rape, misuse of private information.. or even emotional abuse in a marriage.. its just a way of not supporting her.. and making her feel small.. and more women than less allow others to make them feel small..

J said...

i wouldn't exactly say 's/he asked for it', i would just say 'stupid' for a woman/guy who wears "provocative" clothes, goes to an "unsafe" area and gets raped. it's simple logic. if i am not too sure about a place where i am heading, and i know there is nothing like a police concept around here, i would not knowingly walk into danger. one who does, does not make very intelligent decisions; a guy or a girl, any. in the same way, if i know there is nothing i can do if someone takes my picture from my website and use it however, i would be concerned about putting it up in the first place. again, logic. it's how you adapt to a situation that is reality.

The Mad Momma said...

oh yes - this 'you asked for it' thing is apparently quite popular. someone linked up to my blog and said that since i dont mind putting up pics i probably dont mind knowing that they jerk off to the kids' pics. i was shocked not because i believed him, but because he felt the need to do something so provocative.

swati said...

We are least prepared to face what comes our ways eventualities and fatalities included. If the’ you asked for it’ system goes correctly by a proven method then the man being crushed by a drunken rich brat while sleeping on the footpath ‘asked for it’. The child separated from the parents somewhere falling into the hands of the criminals and ending up as a crippled beggar living on alms which are not entirely his also ‘asked for it’. The problems present in the system cannot be excused by the’ you asked for it’ excuse. What happens wrong shouldn’t have been and while being mere spectators, are we not heading towards the bracket of the people of’ you asked for it’?