Grace of ‘Will and Grace’. Debra Messing. Selfish (her T.V. Character, that is), insolent, laughs too loud, tries too hard to be funny, opens her jaws too wide, and to top it off, keeps her eyes big and round to look cute. Delusional enough to think there can be more than one Julia Roberts. (Pop! There goes one in my noggin’ right about now.)
Elaine in ‘Seinfeld’. Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Those floaty, dark skirts, whatever on top of her head that qualifies as hair, that whole Gothic get-up (if it isn’t Gothic, it should be – its disturbing), wide, wide wide, wide grin with chin thrusting out…she should marry George Costanza – deserves it.
Brooke in ‘Bold and the Beautiful’. There was a time I liked her. I really did. But then…why does all her lingerie have lace? Irritating. And you think that someone as well-traveled as her would find people with different surnames – other than Forrester…or Forresters other than Ridge. And why does she never go after him when he’s single? All that regressive man-hungry, tabloidish behavior (which is what I liked in the first place), and then there was all that lace that killed it.
Every single female on ‘One Tree Hill’. (I know this make the count more than 5 – but with the amount of individuality they show, all of them can be considered as one.) Who looks like a teenager on that show? (Men included.) Or do teenage years go up to 29 now? Why does everyone wear gloss and perfectly tapered jeans? And how come no-one wears sneakers? No one? And one can show exasperation without rolling the eyes. Strange but true. (But there is one I like – she has curly hair and works in a club or something. She looks sensible.)
Caroline Duffy in ‘Caroline in the city’. As is clear, I cannot stand women who try to look cute. And to top it, she has a cat and a predictable sassy friend and a brooding cartoonist with who she embarks on a twisted, tortured romance. …And forget funny…those cartoons aren’t even appealing.