Thursday, August 24, 2006

Thoughts and bread (Warm, freshly baked, and whole wheat.)

  1. People look at a girl in a short-skirt longer than at a girl in shorts.
  2. Places that are known for cheap booze will always serve batter-fried appetizers. Not too many hors-d’ouvres will be sautéed or braised or steamed.
  3. Spelling mistakes in menus indicate unclean drinking water.
  4. Spelling mistakes on toilet doors indicate management with very strong patriarchal background. (I went to a restaurant in Lonavla where one door said ‘Men’ and another said ‘Laddies’. Women were perhaps expected to go in the garden.)
  5. Alarm clocks work better than alarms in mobiles.
  6. If there is nothing good on T.V., it must be a weekend.
  7. Smokers don’t giggle.
  8. People who eat only egg whites with a tea-spoon are bad swimmers.
  9. Women who use ‘lotions’ instead of ‘creams’ tend to be mothers of sons and are more judgmental of other women.
  10. Men who bob their heads for no reason while having Coke wish they were women.
  11. Most people working in ‘Barista’ don’t know what it means. (They also don’t know the meanings of the following words/phrases: ‘Please’, ‘Thank You’, ‘Sorry, I did not mean to make you feel like an imbecile parrot because you want your coffee sweet.’, ‘We charge EXTRA for the chocolate sauce I am currently offering you like a friendly pat on the shoulder.’)
  12. Salads with descriptions that have ‘-esque’ in them come in very, very small portions.
  13. What is wrong with spandex?
  14. Khadi silk makes nice cushion covers.
  15. Sprouts grown in baby shoes look very kitschy and adorable.
  16. Scowling people always have change.
  17. Jobs are easy to find when you are not looking for one.
  18. Just because something is public doesn’t mean it is honest. Namely opinions.
  19. Small dogs are mean and want to see me run over. Large dogs are more amicable. Medium-sized dogs are just small dogs, only a little bigger. (They ARE NOT large dogs, only a little smaller.) Therefore, if I am run over, they, like the small dogs, will be happy.
  20. Hot dogs are tasty.
  21. People who talk about ‘Dijon’ mustard are show-offs. They don’t know about any other kind of mustard.
  22. Is there any kind of mustard?
  23. I have a nice thumb. I shall paint it mauve. The whole thumb.
  24. I have some cute ideas. Like a search engine for babies. It will be called ‘Gurgle’.
  25. My ideas may never spin money.

    I don’t even like bread.


Scout said...

ROFL at "gurgle"...u rock :-)

Ameet said...

You're funny :-D

Dadoji said...

Short-skirts... ;-)

Barista charges Xtra for choco sauce? Bummer! Didn't know that. How mean.

small-medium-large and hot dogs. *lol*

I have heard of "gargle" for smokers before and google already has froogle.

spandex makes for great maternity wear is properly blended with cotton (lycra). Otherwise it is just too synthetic to touch. Is there something wrong with spandex?

I prefer bread with italian herbs and cheese. Makes for one great chicken teriyaki sub.

janaki said...

These kinda posts are the best because u inevitably like a few and agree with another few and identify with many more..:) i love bread..

MellowDrama said...

hahahahah!My personal fav laddies:) and I totally agree on the small dogs and uppity salad theory. Though how the heck did you hit upon women who use lotions will be judgemental-mothers of mighty sons/eggwhite eaters are bad swimmers..;)

Nonentity said...

wow! i do eat (not 'only' though) egg whites with a tea-spoon, and i am a swimmer. wow!!

Nonentity said...

correction: i am a 'bad' swimmer ..

vibhor said...

hey you have a great list and thats too intresting..

anumita said...

I eat the whole freaking egg and I still can't swim!

slew said...


satyajit said...

i think spelling mistakes on women's toilet doors reflects a strong patriarchial bkgrnd..

think of a toilet door saying 'Mean' instead of 'Men'.. that has to come to come from a matriarch :p

and its not true that smokers dont giggle..

Anonymous said...

I used to love bread, but now I hate, am in US from past 6months and will be here till April07


Varsha said...

wow neat list!!! you are witty

whats with lotions and sons of those who use them??

Khadi silk cushion covers rock!

Jobs are easy to find when you are not looking for one...Murphy at work

Mistress of Magic said...

nice post. :) cute list. esp the one about search engines. :)

Anonymous said...

This is from a 76 yr old lady, and you are funny! I don't know how I got in this site as I was just looking for the correct spelling of "hors d'ouvres". I just might come back some day when I'm not so busy!