Monday, October 17, 2005

I'll be RIP-eing. Thanks for calling.

I believe that I must die. It is important to do that now. Not as something that occurs as an error of cosmic judgment. More like the fulcrum of the destiny of the glistening, unshed tear that will drop from hooded eyes.

There is too much going on. There is too little sleep. There is too little time for myself. There is too little of myself to make time for. It is not enough to change jobs, and constantly look at tree-trunks and poisonous flowers, and evil sunsets to find a story. It is not enough. It is not even close to being enough.

What would be enough to get started would be to first end it all. The words, the verbage, the analogies, the descriptions, the twitterings, the hollowness, the constant spiralling ascendancy to decline.

Therefore, I will not write for a long time. I will not write until I am garblingly new and I'm freakishly happy. I shall be my own Othello, and weep in conceited silence over my plight. I shall bleed ever so slowly to get the stinky muddy mundaneness off my blood. I shall thwart memory and be smudged with bubbling amnesia. There will be misery in the ten course meal, there will be the ten course meal as the staple diet.

Then I shall come back to a timewhere 'poetess' was still a word. Then my mind will have flowered in quiet sunshine that mangroves are so possessive of. My brain will pique with ideas and send out stories into the world - stories that will be like lemon pickle and steamed kheema with peppercorn.

But now, I believe that I must die. And I must do as I believe.


Ravi said...

Good for you. Write for yourself and not because of any obligation. Be free. Let things happen naturally. Let the writing overflow from the heart, not from conscious effort.

Meanwhile enjoy life...

Rabin said...

Hey, fancy this but I've been too busy to write too..

guess the world is getting to be a busy place after all

Blue Athena said...

Hey Mukta, thanks for dropping by and for your nice words. :)

Referring to your previous post, yes, for every jerk out there, there's someone who lends that guileless smile and warms our heart.


Hemant said...

I guess everyone one day reaches this stage in there life ... what I personally like to call "2Young2Die2Old2Live", this stage is not easy, but I think if you aim for star nothing is impossible, so follow your star and forget everything else, and focus back and start believing in yourslf and stop being dependable.

Mukta said...

Hi Ravi,


Hey R,

You are busy, huh? How come? Hee hee!

Hi Blue Athena,
Yes..we treasure those guileless smiles, don't we? :-)

Hi Hemant,
Very wise. Too young to die, too old to live. Is that a song? It should be. :-) Thanks though.

Hemant said...

hey, your good in music ... i didn't knew, some years back in some group competition i finished that line too young to die and append my own line too old to live and this was all sudden ...