Tuesday, August 30, 2005

So I've noticed

I went to see another movie and thought of several things. Some were my very own observations, some others can be credited to the erudite company I was with. (I shall not name them because a few of them will ask me for money, and mean it.) But most of these observations, to my knowledge, have no grounding in anything more substantial than what can be dismissed as a shrugged-off 'just'…

1. If Salman Khan is dancing with several women at the same time, then none of the women are Indian. The prancing pulchritude must be tall, blond, and Nordic. Oh yes, and it must be a large group, a bevy, an assortment of many. But he is looking very fetching these days - definitely deserves this new mantle of being the collective noun for PYFTs (pretty, young, foreign things).

2. This observation was made by a very close friend of mine with who I have spent numerous hours watching boring movies. We share a bond that can only arise from being suckers of cinematic punishment. We have seen Bewafaa together. And if you don't see anything amiss about that, then you either haven't seen the movie or are part of the film crew. In any case, this is her observation: Priyanka Chopra always has her luscious locks draped over one shoulder - whether she's giving an interview or acting in a movie. (Always, of course, means 98% percent of the time - the 2% being the margin for error we don't admit to.)

3. Newspapers have these brief descriptions of interviews before they get to the Q and A section. (X had a tete-a-tete with Nelson Mandela and found out that he really does like Chinese noodles, Hunan style.) In these descriptions, the name of the reporter is in bold while the name of the celebrity is the same font as the rest of the piece. Perhaps, there is a sub-conscious attempt to twist the spotlight a little, to validate Milton's credo: 'They too serve who stand and wait'.

4. There is something disconcerting about the music videos of London-based Punjabi singers - the ones who fill up the entire screen with been-there-done-that-so-what expressions. Most of their videos are shots of glistening, bronzed bodies gyrating in the foggy decadence of nightclubs - but don't any of the dancers smile? They look empty. Not pouting sexy or stylishly dour; just zombie-like dazed. Surely, that can't be good. You can't turn anyone on looking like an almost-alive cult zombie. And if you can, then..well, there are plenty of things I need to learn.

5. Murphy must win the Nobel. I know of no other law that is alarmingly simple, irritatingly true, infallible, and undisputed. 'If something can go wrong, it will' - now, isn't THAT everyone's E=MC squared?


And the movie that spawned these mental jolts was 'No Entry'. I don't find infidelity funny, but other people in the hall were laughing. So I suppose, the movie must be good if one goes by public demand.

5 comments:

jaygee said...

Thank you. I expected this.. infidelity is not funny therefore neither are 'masti' and 'kya kool hai hum' will avoid it now.

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