Trigger warning: Suicide or Murder

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 Since the last few months, I have been having very strange dreams. They have felt so real. I have felt sensations of breeze, heat, gravity, the heft of a thick fabric, scent of a flower, etc. It has felt as if I inhabit another world completely for the duration of that dream.

Usually these dreams are surrealistic. In one dream, a friend and I are sitting in the middle of a field. He splits open a ripe papaya and there are lots and lots of black seeds. I then enter the papaya and the seeds form a labrynthian ladder that I climb down and enter a city. My friend then snaps the papaya close and I am face to face with a large beast. 

I wake up around then. 

Today, around 8 am, I saw a sooty charcoal sketch of a man in a black suit hung against a white background. He wasn't a real man but he wasn't unreal also. In my dream, I felt as if he had hung himself and someone who had found the body sketched him. Then his face became larger and larger and more and more black. Then it entered me through my skin. It was quite unnerving. 

I tried to connect with most of the people I knew, especially some of my guy friends who I was in touch with since the last few days. And of course, my dad and brother who never answer the phone when it's this kind of an emergency. I mean, sure, it wasn't an EMERGENCY but it feels like one when I am panicking and can't reach them.

I think that dream did take a toll. I got fever and some kind of a rash. But thankfully Dad is here tonight so I guess I will soothe myself down.

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