It's not going to happen

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 Today I just got the sense that I will never be ahead of the curve. I will never be able to stand by my principles as staunchly as I want. I will never be able to make time to write my book. I will never have enough money to make my studio, take time off for meditation, engage in legal aid, call out prejudice. I will live a life waiting for people's approval and validation that will never come. I will never have time to be with people close to me. It will be a life of half-chewn mediocrity and I will never be able to make a happy, joyous world for my daughter.

Someday, baby girl, forgive me for...

Whatever follows those ellipses. 

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