There you have it

I had just written three paragraphs complaining about something but...not required.

This evening, I connected with a college friend of mine. She had loaned me the book, "The Innovator's Dilemma" by Clayton Christesen years ago. I haven't been able to read it. That's the one thing I am really worried about - I haven't been able to read a book since ages. But one lives in hope. So I just started this. Let's see. 

I like reading the Prefaces and acknowledgments of books. It takes a lot for someone to start and finish writing a book. I have bee trying so hard to get that done. Okay, maybe not trying 'hard'...but trying for a long time. When I had moved to Bangalore, my deal was to use my resources to not take up work for 8 months to a year, live simply, and write something. 

Well, that didn't happen. 

Anyway, soon. Actually, I am thinking that next year, around June, I will start the book. Rather I will finish the book that I started in Pune.

My head feels so heavy. Yesterday I was waiting for feedback on one project. Today I am waiting for feedback on another one. I think I should learn to wait well. I wonder why that is not taught in school. Sure, they teach you to be patient but not really how or more importantly why. I have become better now. But there is a lot of learning to do.

In my experience, people who can wait properly,  calmly, productively - they really win. Win big. I feel they get the ability to alchemize time. There's a line in the 'Course of Miracles' that goes: "Those who are certain of the outcome can wait and wait without anxiety."

Speaking of being certain of the outcome, I have been trying to learn cartomancy -predicting with the use of cards. Playing cards, not tarot. So far I have been a 100% inaccurate. It still is something. Then one just does the opposite of what I predict. (This reminds me of school when friends would try and identify the questions that would appear in the exams. Some approached this rather futile exercise with rigour - they would go through past papers and all that. I would not. I would take guesses and it is remarkable that whichever question I would identify as a likely one would not come. Not just that question - that entire topic wouldn't be feature in the test. My friends really caught on to that. I wasn't very happy about this of course.)

Anyway, back to cartomancy. I was chatting with my brother and I asked him if he had any questions I could do some prediction for, since I need the practice. And since I really am new, he should pick something simple, low stakes, etc. So he told me to ask the cards if I was any good. 

If I coud block him, I would. But now that I think of it, maybe that is a sensible thing to start with.