That time when you sweeten your coffee

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Usually, I have my coffee black. I like it that way. Also, I have lots of coffee - more than 10 cups a day. So my tongue us familiar with that bitter, coarse taste of black coffee. It has also become my mood, I think. The mood of stark survival - slanted towards something simple and strong.

But what this kind of a boot camp mentality does to you, I think, it makes you a little brittle. You may be getting strong but parts of you may also be getting chipped off.

Yesterday I'd gone to Phoenix with mum. I had such a lovely time! Yes, I was working a little and taking calls and setting up meetings. But just spending time with her in a plush place felt good.

We went to one of my favorite stores - Muji. I love that brand! Everything is so simple, beautiful and basic. Usually, I do not like earthen colours. However, I like these colours there - especially for their cutlery and tableware. And stationery. Really like their black erasers.

Anyway, the last week or so, there has been a knot of anxiety in my stomach which goes away when I focus on it and breathe deeply and all that. It comes back again. But I believe it can be tricked into submitting to a will.

Yesterday, that feeling was there - but it was like that as a full-grown person sitting inside and in front of me. It is very surreal. And I did with it what I would do with a friend. I invited it to have coffee with me. And this time, I did not have my coffee black. I had it milky and frothy and sweetened. When I tore open the sachet of sugar and added in spoons of  it and stirred it, it felt like adding in some power. A sweet, soft, gentle power.

I had that cup of coffee and really enjoyed it.

After that, for some time, there was peace.

We're back to black coffee though.


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