Friday, September 30, 2011

It's a good thing, I think

Meltdowns.

I have been thinking about them. Last few weeks, or maybe months, have been tense. It has now come to a point where very little tension comes from outside. Most of it germinates somewhere internal - maybe base of the spine or in the wrist or behind the left eye. Somewhere like that. Then it doesn't get an outlet and it starts hardening on the nerves. Perhaps unresolved feelings work the same way as plaque on arteries. They block flow. They tighten and constrict and then, one day, they kill.

But sometimes, something inside shifts. It could be brought on by a verse one has read or a sketch one has done. Something like that. It's like these shrapnels and pointy bits of angry, unhappy thoughts get wiped down with warm, salty water. They soften. In time, they melt and come out as tears. That's why I feel meltdowns are good. They are important. They are a more organic form of release of all the filth that collects in the brain and makes it a gutter. After one has had a good cry because of sadness that seeped through the veins, one is much more cleansed. Light. Happy. Soft.

I feel a meltdown is the mind's way of becoming flexible again.


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