Monday, May 23, 2011

Succour

At times, I find myself wronged.

Sometimes by society - by the guy who refused to get up even though he was occupying the ladies seat, by the conductor who refused to get involved, by people around who plugged in their ipods and looked the other way.

Sometimes by friends - by those who want to know exactly how much money I'm making as a freelancer but never about how I get by, by those who know my marital situation and will want to know what's going on, but will never ask, "How are you feeling?"

Sometimes by family - by those who have loved me a little too unconditionally, so much so that I have become spoilt, by those who drive me to the point of wondering, "do I really deserve it?"

Sometimes by myself - for being so clueless for so long, for not quite making up my mind on how much drama I can handle, for being scattered and lazy, for never being focused on anything, for being indisciplined.

Not all these issues are valid. Not all of them are trivial either. Some have solid foundations. Several seem impossible to solve. All of them, unequivocally, cause a lot of anxiety and frustration. What do you do when you're at the receiving end of grave injustice? Or you are simply witnessing it?

There is so much anger that chokes the throat, that actually burns the blood. The frustration chars every prospect of hope, of change, of anything getting better.

I have a very hard time making peace with these things. At these times, I try to remember what I read in Jack Hawley's interpretation of 'Bhagavad Gita'. (It's a fantastic book. One of the very best I have read on the subject.)

There's a line in there that always causes my dust to settle, my storm to recede, and a quiet courage to take over and do what needs to be done. No questions asked, no results expected. Whether it is trekking in the night to go to a police station and talk to stonefaced constables, or hold back tears while I tell a friend I can't talk to her anymore...that line always seems to lend this sheen of honor and dignity to a situation, no matter how messy or ugly my anger has made it.

The line is, "With peace in your heart, fight your fight."

Amen to that.

5 comments:

crab said...

hmmm ... will have to look up that book ...

Mukta said...

absolutely look that up. let me know how you find it...

crab said...

i see two titles?? online ...

Mukta said...

http://www.flipkart.com/b/books/bhagavad-gita-hawley-jack-walkthrough-book-818685276x?_l=CJHVEqJO3veuHytbACc9dw--&_r=Vb8EP_0%204rRkzj7jZxzmCw--&ref=25ca0b0a-c35c-41fc-a975-0a934ddd0eb4

thats the one i was referring to. It's a walkthrough for beginners.

crab said...

yeah .. me thought so too .. thanks :)