There is a spoiler for Karthik calling Karthik ahead, so if you won't be reading any further, I'll wish you Happy Holi right here.
I watched Karthik calling Karthik last evening. I couldn't stop thinking about how lonely Karthik's character was, growing up. His parents can't see his imagined brother. He keeps getting frustrated at being picked on. He must have been feeling abandoned every single time something goes wrong in his life and there's no-one to commisserate with him. How horrible must a man's reality be, that he's willing to flee it even though he is chronocally risk-averse. To feel that alone and hunted for so long in life.
That movie made me very sad. It's like a note on the dresser that tells you of the times we've hit the ground running to chase away our demons. And why we hold on to love so fiercely - real or imagined. It is, without exaggeration, our only chance at getting saved.
After the movie, my friend and I were having coffee. Around us, there were so many people. So many minds, with their own calculations and complications. Their own coping and defense mechanisms, their chinks in the emotional armour; their fears of shadows, their yearnings for the deep night, their endless wait for a dawn where they'll be free. There is so much of that around. It's overwhelming.
I thought of that all the way to Vashi, whilst a big, round moon followed me on the way home. It marked the beginning of a celebration where people will go out, laughing and happy, and smear color on each other's faces.
I find Holi ridiculous. But I realize that, in the thick, coagulated morass of emotions and thoughts that we seep in, face value is a precious thing.
Happy Holi, everyone. Keep it colorful. Keep it light.