Happy Lappy
In October, I was gifted a laptop. A Lenovo. It is a handsome piece of work. What I like best is the smorgasboard of little icons that light up in capsicum green or cherry tomato lights when I insert a CD or use Caps Lock or charge the laptop. I had started typing something in October but the document now lies spitted with half-chewed words and phlegmed ideas running from line to line.
I feel quite happy using my medium of stylish incoherence. I haven’t been able to do too much with it, though. Like use PowerPoint. I had this brilliant idea that I’d do my famous manuscript on PowerPoint with my laptop propped on…well, my lap. But how do you drag objects on a laptop? I tried and I tried. I tilted myself this way and that until I started getting nauseous. Then I stopped when I finally rolled off the bed. Perhaps the only alternative is to attach a mouse to the microchipped Zeus. But I don’t want to do that because all those appendages will just make a laptop look less stylish. It’ll be like wearing a cotton slip under a shirt that is meant to be sheer. (A good LCD display does remind one of a sheer shirt. It truly does.)
So it was back to MS Word. (I have an interesting idea for a campaign of umm..let’s see, showcasing the role of MS Word in plain old civic action. So, we see a dark, dusty road – maybe 16th century Scotland. One guy with steel-grey eyes rushes forth to combat a group of armed warriors. All he has is a sword. So, when you see the final thrust of an intrepid hero, the words ‘MY SWORD’ get displayed strategically on the screen – indicating the weapon of choice against injustice. Cut to a well equipped but not flashy office space {21st century, and not necessarily Scotland}– where a particularly earnest young woman types away on her computer. And the words ‘MY SWORD’ slowly morph/ change/ fuse into ‘MS WORD’ – indicating again, the weapon of choice against injustice.) This seemed hard enough to type out, and working this on PowerPoint would be more hellish. But the effort would be worth something, I suppose.
What else? The first movie I watched (and the only one so far) on my Laptop was ‘Apna Sapna Money Money.’ Pretty good film but it was a little difficult watching it on the laptop. I couldn’t quite negotiate the glare factor. Irrespective of how I moved the laptop, a few actors were smudging into darkness like some Harry Potter flick. (No, I’m not a big fan.) Koena Mitra is seriously something! I like her. And so is Riteish Deshmukh as a girl. Not over the top at all. The movie could have done without the oranges-as-breasts jokes though. That’s what I can’t get. Just when a film is striking the right chord between witty and goofy, they have to go ahead and make it lurid.
What they need is someone who can work out a coherent, solid screenplay. (Cough! Cough!) Maybe such a person is out there somewhere. Rolling off the bed, maybe, trying to figure out PowerPoint or simply writing paras after paras after paras. (Ahem!)
Maybe there is such a person out there.
I feel quite happy using my medium of stylish incoherence. I haven’t been able to do too much with it, though. Like use PowerPoint. I had this brilliant idea that I’d do my famous manuscript on PowerPoint with my laptop propped on…well, my lap. But how do you drag objects on a laptop? I tried and I tried. I tilted myself this way and that until I started getting nauseous. Then I stopped when I finally rolled off the bed. Perhaps the only alternative is to attach a mouse to the microchipped Zeus. But I don’t want to do that because all those appendages will just make a laptop look less stylish. It’ll be like wearing a cotton slip under a shirt that is meant to be sheer. (A good LCD display does remind one of a sheer shirt. It truly does.)
So it was back to MS Word. (I have an interesting idea for a campaign of umm..let’s see, showcasing the role of MS Word in plain old civic action. So, we see a dark, dusty road – maybe 16th century Scotland. One guy with steel-grey eyes rushes forth to combat a group of armed warriors. All he has is a sword. So, when you see the final thrust of an intrepid hero, the words ‘MY SWORD’ get displayed strategically on the screen – indicating the weapon of choice against injustice. Cut to a well equipped but not flashy office space {21st century, and not necessarily Scotland}– where a particularly earnest young woman types away on her computer. And the words ‘MY SWORD’ slowly morph/ change/ fuse into ‘MS WORD’ – indicating again, the weapon of choice against injustice.) This seemed hard enough to type out, and working this on PowerPoint would be more hellish. But the effort would be worth something, I suppose.
What else? The first movie I watched (and the only one so far) on my Laptop was ‘Apna Sapna Money Money.’ Pretty good film but it was a little difficult watching it on the laptop. I couldn’t quite negotiate the glare factor. Irrespective of how I moved the laptop, a few actors were smudging into darkness like some Harry Potter flick. (No, I’m not a big fan.) Koena Mitra is seriously something! I like her. And so is Riteish Deshmukh as a girl. Not over the top at all. The movie could have done without the oranges-as-breasts jokes though. That’s what I can’t get. Just when a film is striking the right chord between witty and goofy, they have to go ahead and make it lurid.
What they need is someone who can work out a coherent, solid screenplay. (Cough! Cough!) Maybe such a person is out there somewhere. Rolling off the bed, maybe, trying to figure out PowerPoint or simply writing paras after paras after paras. (Ahem!)
Maybe there is such a person out there.
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~Naveen