Today, I went to a new dentist closer to home. He took an X-ray of my tooth and said that I’ll need to have a root canal done. However, the success chances are 50-50. If the root canal doesn’t work out, I’ll need to lose my tooth. My heart is currently smothered in much grief at that prospect but I must be strong and stay positive.
Also, he went on to say that my gums need work because they don’t look healthy. Again, this saddens me considerably because I don’t even like sweets, but stoic is what I must be.
Now, all these dentist trips have led me to buy the book, ‘The Tibetan book of living and dying.’ I somehow associate mortality very closely with dental surgery. Of course, I have never actually heard of anyone dying because of a root canal but still. I have often been known to set a precedent. (I wore pink pants to a legal seminar once. Maybe that was the only time I set a precedent. Oh wait! It’s not a precedent if no-one follows it…so okay, this was a wrong example. The point to be considered is that I could die in a dentist’s chair.)
The prospect of death has made me think about several things. I think I should really get down and draft my will. I don’t have much besides books, clothes, and shoes.
Of my books, I will give my copy of ‘Roots’ to my brother. I know it will help him a lot. The others I will probably donate to some library – maybe the organization my father volunteers for.
I would like to be cremated in my Mango skirt because it is the most expensive, elitist piece of garment my plebian, suburban self has had the audacity to purchase. And with this skirt, I’ll wear an adorable white, off-shoulder tee-shirt bought for 60 rupees off Linking Road. (Just to balance things, you know.)
My favorite scarf will go to my mother. Ma will use it to clean her crystals instead of wearing it to Bandstand. She doesn’t like the scarf, but since it is my most favorite thing…it must go to my most favorite person.
My personal diaries will go to my cousin who hopefully, will make a movie based on the details therein. And it would be highly appreciated by my astral self if the movie doesn’t fall in the comedy genre. Oh…and it would be great if he could get Sunjay Dutt and Julia Roberts to star in it. Julia Roberts will play me and SD can play A – just a suggestion.
Papa shall get all the stationery as well as my books on non-fiction. After all, I had flicked them all from his office.
A can take whatever he’d like – although I would love for him to take and read ‘To Kill a Mockingbird.’ Or he could take my series of no-smoking articles and pay attention to them and quit smoking completely. Not reduce the number of cigarettes to 1,2,3,4…but quit. That means 0 cigarettes. However, I think he will just take my corduroy jacket.
So, that leaves my friends. I’ll sift through my books and leave behind some nice poetry volumes for Anumita, Chandrika, Jaygee, etc. SS and the other SS can take my skirts. Although association with Pune was brief, I think associations with some people were deep. For them I could leave behind some thrillers. J can have all books with grotesque covers. Cy can keep the Enid Blyton illustrations.
I’ll have to work out the details as to what I’ll leave behind for the help in the house. One of them wanted a pair of my jeans because she said it would scrub the bathroom mirror nicely. I suppose she can have it…but please, not my Levis. Maybe the other horrible Pepe pair.
That is that.
Now, here’s another thing that crossed my mind. I wonder what will happen to my blog. This is a secondary consideration, really. What I really want to figure out is how I would let people know through my blog that I’m dead. I don’t know why this is such a burning question for me. But it is, so I’ll try to address it.
There can be instances when I don’t post for long spells. It doesn’t mean that I’m dead. It could mean that my computer is probably giving me some trouble. Or I have forgotten how to spell ‘occasions’. (How many ‘c’s and how many ‘s’s, etc.)
But here are two instances where I absolutely must post – around the 24th of December (because that’s Christmas time and also the time when I first met A) or 3rd of April (because that’s my very, very happy birthday. I truly celebrate it with loads of gusto.) If I don’t post on these two occasions, that means I am dead. Gone for good. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
There…I have figured it all out. Can breathe easy now.
If my brother was here, he’d read through it all and ask me, ‘Does anyone really care?’
And then proceed to fight with A over the corduroy jacket.