Wednesday, March 29, 2006

It's almost time

I was born on April third. And no, it is not two days too late.

My birthday is approaching…rather quickly, I might add. I am very, very happy and insist that others feel the same. And I’m not talking of damp squib polite ‘Yes, yes, how nice..’ but a rather celebrated sort of bonhomie – like confetti falling out of the mouth when you say ‘Yay! Birthday!’

I want gifts, cards made of handmade paper, and cake. Also, a surprise party but no-one seems to be interested in giving me one. So, I shall organize a party, invite some people I don’t know but have tripped over at German Bakery, get them inside the house and yell ‘Surprise!’ As I see it, it is truly a surprise party because this way, more people are surprised than in the conventional method. Majority wins. If you are going to be surprising only one person, then it’s more of a ‘clueless’ party I think because well, whatever.

And yes, the gifts must be gift-wrapped, and preferably not from a retail store. Supremely great if they are handmade but I’m not too fussy. Also, the message on the cards should be written in fountain pen – royal blue ink or bottle green. There are very few people who know how beautiful smudges of bottle green ink look on coarse stationery. The prettiness is quite astonishing, really. And the nib must be broken after the card is signed.

Now, as for what I want, a copper tea-pot would be nice. Would lend a je ne sais quoi (and I mean it – I don’t know what) to the kitchen. Often times, I have gone to the kitchen and stared at the shelves, my eyes searching for something. Lately I have realized they sought a copper tea pot. No need to give me cups. I have those.

Some books too – ‘A Pale View of the Hills’, ‘Alice in Wonderland’, another coffee-table book on Witchcraft that I saw at Crossword, and a ‘Betty and Veronica’ double digest.

But more than anything else, I want people to wish me at midnight…by the pool, with jasmines tucked behind their ears.

My birthday is a very happy occasion – it doesn’t matter how old I get (that’s just big, smelly nonsense that you stop celebrating birthdays after twenty-five. Why? Rubbish drivel, I call it.)And it doesn’t matter what the pinched nose people say, ‘What have you done in life to be happy about being born?’ Why should I do anything in life? I won’t do. I think it’s commendable that I have not let starched prosaic pedantics inflict purpose on my confused and sweetly worthless existence. And of course, it’s not really worthless because I know many knock knock jokes.

Also, I would like a nice song to be dedicated to me. Hmm. So many choices, but I’m quite partial to the first song that I blushed to, ‘There’s a brown girl in the ring.’

And my birthday is on a Monday, so I would like my friends to put up a little skit for me. In the manner of the Monday night sitcoms that I don’t get to watch because I don’t have cable. ‘Frasier’ would be awesome, but otherwise, anything other than ‘King of Queens’. I don’t like that too much.

What else? I would like to have someone read my palm. My lifeline seems to be forming a circle. That can’t be good. But maybe it is because it’s all good on my birthday.

I did not like ‘Being Cyrus’ too much. I have been watching so many ‘different’ Hindi films now that I want to see a film from which all these other movies want to deviate. Also, if no two films are alike, then how can they be different? If every film is different, then all films are the same. Like that graffiti,’ Remember you are unique, just like everyone else.’

Bottom line: April third, my birthday.


shub said...

and jus cos you write so beautifully, mayb your day be filled with all those kinda stuff and more....

i handed out 3 handmade cards on handmade paper , hand painted since last December...and nothing quite beats the euphoria of having done something nice :)

Hope the day is gonna be lovely

madhavan said...

One supernice song dedicated to you coming up:

salaam seth salaam seth
kuch apne layak kaam seth
aap tho khaye murg musallam
apne liye to rice plate. RICE PLATE

If you want more songs you will have to gimme a piece of the cake and it will have to be chocolate cake

doubtinggaurav said...

There was a survey* that most of Indians born during summer are somewhat cranky (Not that I mind) due to the heat.

You have implicitly admitted that you are over 25, since ladies are not supposed to reveal their ages, I am sorry to say that you are no lady.+

By dismissing "hatke" genre you are endorsing Govinda and David Dhawan, I heartily approve of this reactionary gesture.

Oscar wilde used to mourn his birthday by wearing black armband, such a charming fellow!

Near E Square, there is a puncherwallah. Both the times I went there my bike got punctured in front of the shop (a coincidence no doubt, as was the fact that 5 or 6 bikes got punctured at the exact spot), I assume by this time he might have earned a tidy sum. Point of this is you can ask him for gift.

And yes

Happy Birthday to you :-)
(A very interesting line follows which is concerned with elephants, but modesty forbids me from elaborating)

* I know of no such survey, but IMO we should not let facts come in way of yarns.

+ I am not sexist pig, on the contrary I am a very hygeinic one.

Regards and Enjoy

N said... your style. Have a great birthday! Know what you mean about Being Cyrus.

Ashish Shakya said...

I love how you write.And you're an Arien about 200 million people on the planet but hey...nice little coincidence I'd like to think.

Have put up a birthday post on my blog too.My bday's today :-)

Hyde said...

I used to sing "Brown girl in the ring" as a five-year old. :-)

And you like Frasier? Cool! Haven't come across many people who do.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mukta ,
Hope you have a very happy , a very nice and jolly birthday with tons of (chocolate ) cake and some neat meat dishes.....
Here's hoping all your dreams come true . Have agrand year!
PS- Do tell us how the birthday party turned out ! Think Oscar Wilde was Arien too, BTW!

karmic_jay said...

Happy Birthday pal :)

Ashish Gupta said...

:D mine too!

and I was 2 days early >:)

have loads of fun!

Sunshine said...

Hey Mukta,

Have a rocking day, and hopefully it will be a day of surprises unknown to you:)


Heretic said...

Check mail pls.

Mukta said...

Hey shub,

Thank you very much. And you sent out handmade cards? Very nice!

Hey madhavan,

Thank you! Thank you! Fine, chocolate cake for you...although you could share the murg mussallum too. :-)

Hey gaurav,

Nothing implicit. My profile does indicate that I'm over 25. hee hee!

Curious..what was the next line? 'You were born in a zoo?' :-D

Hey anindita!

Great pic! You have nice eyes...or eye. hee hee!

Hi Phoenix!

I've wished you on your blog but happy birthday all the same. Got anything interesting?

Hi Hyde,

Why did you stop? Its such a nice song...

And about Frasier..really? Everybody I know loves it!

Hi Supriya,

Will definitely tell you! And thank you! You know what? I think that this is going to be a lovely year too!

Hey karmic!

Long time! Thanks!

Hey there ashish!

Really? Shall wish you then.

Hey sunshine...

Hmm...whatever could you mean? *giggle*

hey heretic!

Will definitely check mail tomorrow. Can't do it now. You sent me a card, kya? Thats really nice! Thanks!

Hyde said...

Why did I stop singing? I grew up!

Anonymous said...

Hi Mukta have a Happy life !

Glad to know does another Arien. Mine was yesterday.

What does your name mean ?

Enjoy Frasier too ! I call it the 'Frasier Break'

Found your blog recently by fluke

neha said...

hi mukta,

cool post - comeon shouldnt ask noone to break ink pens!! they are lovely beautiful things :P

enjoy your birthday. happy be.

(ps: got 'raliancz' for the word verification... )

doubtinggaurav said...

Err nothing so creative.
Just a juvenile delinquent (i.e male)line concerned about "wind which dare not take her name in polite society", and it was in Hindi.

Your Profile does mention your age, somehow I managed to ignore the mention.

Chandrika said...

Hey Mukta,
Sorry we din't read this blog before the party today...but will call u at midnight...pretty difficult to organise the pool and the jasmines...ayway, you can picture all of us doing it...have a lovely birthday. Loved the thought of the surpise party...:)

anumita said...

so sorry baby! should have read this post before going to meet you! will make it up to you for sure!