Chiffonesque

In a little over or under two weeks, I will go to Delhi for a final hearing on my divorce. Although I have taken my time over all of this - the filing of divorce, thinking it through, piecing together all the good memories I had of my marriage so that it makes me feel less of a fool as time goes by - it still hurts. I am not sure if its the ego or the heart. But whatever it is, it's sure not meek around pain. Some days later, a chapter of my life will end and in a way, I am looking forward to that. Much like one looks forward to one's menses even though you know its going to cause discomfort and pain. At least, dregs and residues of everything that's wasted will be gone from the system. I intend to one day be good friends with my ex. He is a fine, kind, and in parts, an incredibly noble person. However, I want us to be friends when I am sure of my motives - when I know I am strong and happy enough to handle it. Not when I am almost besotted with memories and moods and ...

Here are a few things that have happened over the last few weeks. A and I drove to Bhimashankar a couple of days ago. The trip seemed to have been written on the trills of a bird song. It was that perfect, carefree, sudden, and meant to be. The world was new and green. There were places where the road seemed unending and empty, yet ‘full’, somehow. You could sense thickets of mist, rain and travelers thoughts. You could imagine shrubs of hope, freedom, and travelers’ tales. And you could feel the mussed up dance to travelers’ music. Rain …it’s what the soul feels like. A also bought me a pretty box of paint. I have wanted to paint glass for a while now. There isn’t any formal training or great skill. Except that some days I’ll shake an empty jar of coffee and imagine purple swans and a red moon on it. So, I’m really happy with the paint-box now. (They are lovely little tubes and when you squeeze them, thick lush color oozes out. My favorite is the cobalt blue.) This morning, as...