Day 102 of 108

 Wonderful rainy day today. Life got a little hectic for a bit and a teensy bit chaotic when my neighbor came hollering to my house regarding the help. Housewives do treat their help as some kind of fiefdom. Actually I suppose most Indian upper middle class do. I know that I have to struggle to stop myself from behaving that way. I sometimes fail in that. Then I am cruelly reminded when some company starts treating me the same. 

Before I proceed with this post, I want to respond to some messages I got on my last post where I wrote about starting some kind of emailer on instructional design. Someone wanted to collaborate. To those who are writing in, please stop. I will not collaborate with you if I have not reached out to you. If you write to me without even introducing yourself, you really are not someone I want to do a joint project with now. Also, "collaboration" can become a sneaky sort of "colonization". So, thank you but no.

Also, for all the readers of the blog...please just know that if I actively need help, I ask for it. So...I appreciate the generosity but do extend it elsewhere. 

Anyway...where was I? The day was actually pretty restful with some grave opportunities to get irked. And I did get irked. But I controlled myself. I thought of really letting my neighbour have it. But she is quite elderly. And I can sense that her dependence on the help goes beyond logistics. I can empathize with that. 

And then these people who want to "collaborate" with me. I don't know why but that honestly irritated me a whole lot. The arrogance of the assumption that I think you are not part of the pile of mediocre, cowardly, cog-in-the-wheel sap who go to Maldives or to open mic to compensate for some slavish life...that arrogance is quite sublime actually. Yes. It is not the garden variety of arrogance that is easy to spot. It is the thinly veiled custard of inflated self-worth with foggy self-awareness that has become so prevalent today. (Four people reaponded to that email. None of them introduced themselves. All of them used some strange handles, etc.)

Maybe next time I will write more about why this kind of help strikes me as fake. Actually no. Not next time. I will share that now. In Pune, someone had once told me about a Persian proverb that when you are getting wet in the rain, a tree can provide you shelter. But after it has stopped raining, if you continue to stand under the tree, the tree itself will make you wet. 

And that's what I feel about people who are always out to help you, send messages about "being there", bring willing to collaborate but never offer anything concrete...like what do you bring to the table? What do you know about me or my project that you think you will be of value? You want to feel better about the dead-ended version of your existence, am sure there's something on the Gram for that. 

Anyway, still. There were a few things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well.

2. I finished some heavy duty work today. 

3. Both cook and cleaning lady came today.

4. Ordered some really tasty hot chocolate powder and quite loved it. (Maybe I will treat myself to another cup later.)

5. Have a cozy home.