Day 1 of 108

 I start the next cycle of my 108 records. Here are all the things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. His is the sweetest voice on Earth for me. I can't explain the salve I feel when I talk to him. 

2. I told a friend that I was finding our friendship too draining and maybe it is good to not be in touch. It was a long friendship and it feels sad. But it was time. I am trying to cultivate the mindset and heartset (if there is such a word) that a grateful soul must say thank you for everything.

3. I got some past pending money. That was good. Time to salt away something for the future.

4. Met a friend and we had coffee.

5. Took a break from work. 

Day 108 of 108

 Well, well, well. We have completed one set of 108 days today. I also decided to end something today. I think it is okay.

Here are a few things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well.

2. Am safe.

3. Have a home.

4. Had spicy ramen.

5. Had wi-fi.

Day 107 of 108

I am so tired.

But I am really weirded out about this. But it's okay. The fatigue seems understandable.

I am not proud of that but I ignored my neighbor today. I am just a little bit put off with her. Anyway, here are a few things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. Did not talk to him today but there was no frantic call. So that was okay.

2. Had a tough and tumble day at work. Some encouraging feedback came our way. That was nice.

3. Remembered to order groceries today.

4. Am safe.

5. AC was working and I had water. 

Day 106 of 108

 I am tired. Also down with a little fever. and sore throat. 

Anyway a lot of crazy things to tackle. I am just tackling so much anxiety that I am really wondering what all my nervous system needs to undergo.

Here are a few things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well.

2. Met V for a short while today. It felt nice. 

3. Got a massage from Urban Company. It was nice. 

4. Had two tasty cheese dosas.

5. Wore my Ma's pink saree. 

Day 105 of 108

 Here are all the things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. He is so content to be in Vashi. I did feel a little sad that he is not with me. But he was looking so sweet in his white t-shirt and shorts and chatting with the caretaker. So, there is that. He looked so cute sleeping on his bed with the mosquito net and all. Well... sometimes just seeing him at peace is worth whatever churn I am going through.

2. Had really tasty food at home today.

3. Am safe 

4. Fit into my jeans after ages. 3.5 years.

5. Went on a bike ride with V. It was so, so lovely! Was meeting him after ages. And his bike is a little fancy for me to get on. But it was lovely! He treated me to veg cheese sandwich, lenon soda and watermelon juice! I love sudden impromptu plans like this! We sat at Cafe Seasude on Bandstand! I loved it! There was one part where we were coming through Pali Hill. The trees were gorgeous and filled with pink flowers...and beyond that the sky was blue. Some leaves of a badam tree (I think) had turned a ludh green! That moment was so perfect! 

Life is really feeling so hard at times...with this knot of anxiety surfacing all the time...that moments like these...and seeing my father at peace...these just function as memories that someone up there was blessing you.

Day 104 of 108

 One more day of unravelling and spiralling. Things are just so painful...I mean...I am not even living in a war-torn zone, and the atmosphere feels so heavy and entangled. Anyway, I am just exhausted trying to exist from one day to another.

Here are all the things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. He is my anchor, my compass, my peace, my pain, my heart, my purpose...honestly...I am just so, so grateful that I could hear his voice.

2. It was rough at work, but had a good conversation with a colleague. Some gentle conversation can be so nourishing.

3. Had a really nice walk up Pali Hill.

4. Am safe.

5. Had nariyal pani with sabza seeds.

6. Treated myself to some cortado at Boojee. Saw a beautiful fluffy Alaskan Huskie.

Photo joybox

 

Days 102 and 103 of 108

 Uff...the day I had. 

At Muhammad Ali Road now. Waiting for a friend. I really really want to have malpua. Anyway let's see...what happens.

I am exhausted and am really really trying to get on with it. 

From yesterday and today, here are a few things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well.

2. I managed to have such a good, happy time at Muhammad Ali Road.

3. It was such a beautiful treat...to take off at midnight, roam around the hustle and bustle with my friend...and find little treasures. I had the loveliest lemon tea with a spring of mint and sabzaa seeds, a tasty malpua with cream, tava-fried potatoes dusted with spices, a fennel-seed soda, and I brought back fresh pavs and mawa jalebis. So so good. I had really needed to decompress. So that was a great night. The icing on the cake was catching a black and yellow regular cab and dozing off in the car....open windows, breeze on your face, and a smile...I had felt so comforted. I love Bombay.

4. Finished some work. Not all of it. But got through the day.

5. Ordered ttekkbokki and Ramyun today from Aegyo Cafe. The Ramyun was spectacular.

Day 101 of 108

Quite an exasperating day! Really annoyed but thankfully a few things got done. 

Really...I feel I am getting tried at tested at every turn! But thankfully here are a few things that I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. His voice sounded a little raspy. I will go and meet him this weekend and actually wish that he was with me. But I am grateful that he is around and I could talk to him.

2. Ate roomali roti today.

3. Completed a little something with heavy duty problem solving.

4. Was safe.

5. Have water, electricity, and resources for groceries. 

Day 100 of 108

A slow, slow Monday! And a long, long one!

We got done and things are moving along. This is exhausting but. The wait is exhausting. I want to write about the wait for what. But it is sick!

Here are all the things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. I wish he were here.

2. Got through the day.

3. Chhole with sweet mango pickle was so yummy!

4. Had a quick chat with a friend. Felt nice 

5. Am safe. 

Day 99 of 108

 It was a meaningful day. Nothing obviously significant happened but I did experience a small pocket of peace here and there. That glimpse of what is possible is really everything that keeps one going. 

Here are all the things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well.

2. I met my brother. There was the usual tension but the meeting did go off well. After a point, you take any peaceful interaction as a kind of a salve.

3. Went for a hair wash. The cost has increased. But oh well...once in a while, it's okay.

4. Got my laptop repaired. That cost a pretty penny. The monies for this month will come through only later but really glad that I had kept something away for expenses like this.

5. Had a good conversation with my help. They really are sweet. God bless them!

6. Felt so good after writing my post and impressions on 'The Fisherman'.