This year is just so emotionally draining. I don't think I have it in me to suffer one more rough day. I am so exhausted. Actually more than exhausted, I am feeling really defeated today. I have been feeling this way for a few days now. Some planetary transit am sure. Because otherwise nothing is terribly wrong. Yes, the world is pretty much in shambles. But there are pockets of peace.
If in the future, I lose my memory and I still get something back from my earlier days, I hope that I come across this blog post and I remember that there were still things to be grateful for...and that I still remembered life with a grateful heart.
1. Papa is well. I did not talk to him today. But there were no frantic calls. So all is well.
2. I have been having heaps of emotional churning now. I have no idea what is going on. But the extent of weepiness and heavy heartedness is surreal. It really feels as if I am possessed by someone that needs my body for an emotional release. I talked to V for 4 hours today...and am sure it was not the best way for him to spend his Sunday. But it was oddly compelling. I honestly have no idea what is going on. But I am listing it under things I am grateful for because...this too is part of my human experience. Something good will come from this.
3. Ordered ramen and cooked it now. Indulgence. But necessary.
4. Went to Starbucks with a friend. It was a relief that I could catch him before he left for home. I really needed an escape today.
5. Wrote a vignette today. If from the debris of all this crap and chaos something creative comes out, I am glad.
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