Day 15 of 108

I am so tired. I had a very strange and vivid dream last night. Actually I have been having strange dreams over the last few days. Many times I imagine a human (maybe me) in the center of some kind of nothing landscape. There's no ground and there's no sky. Around this figure (me?), there are large panels. They may or may not be mirrors but they seem to have some kind of a reflective surface. And this figure is kneeling in the center, head bowed down...not in prayer. Maybe defeat or resignation. 

I think the dream points to living in a multiverse. But I don't know.

Not been feeling well. Still had a meeting. Got through the day.

Here are all the things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. Spoke to him today. He sounded chirpy.

2. Managed to go to the gym today. Worked out more than yesterday.

3. Paid up my help's salary. I really like making the payments at the start of the month...on the first. In the middle, a month or so, I was not able to do that. My payments were coming in late. That had bothered me somewhat. This month, rectified it.

4. Resisted my temptation to eat meat.

5. Read a little bit.

A quick snack

 Here's what I whipped up: mashed avocado with chaat masala to which some kiwi slices were added and a cube of cheese was shredded into. Also a lot of pepper was folded in. 

A very interesting and yummy dish! 

Day 14 of 108

 Paid the electricity bill today. Alarmingly high, I thought. The rest of the bill payments begin tomorrow. It's 12 now and my birthday month has begun! Given that I have been having such a rough and tough time lately (and I have full faith that the grief and sadness will continue - being such resilient little beings), should I even celebrate my birthday? I mean...I suppose I will because all things aside, life has been good and kind. Even if a tad merciless at times.

Okay, I haven't worked out today. Maybe will do some stretches after I finish a little bit of my coffee. 

Okay, am back. I just did two surya namaskars. My God! My body has become so stiff! When I used to learn yoga, my instructor had once taufght us that the emotions and thoughts - when they get crusty, the body gets stiff. And lately with the way I have been feeling, my body showed up! Gosh! I am so lucky that I remember the Surya Namaskar steps! It is deeply, deeply life affirming.

Here are all the things I am grateful for:

1. Papa is well. He had called me today. He sounded happy and upbeat!

2. Cook came today. She will take leave tomorrow but landed up today. She made an Andhra rice cake dusted with chilli masala that was quite tasty!

3. Was listening to Kun Faaya Kun while doing yoga. I never really liked Rockstar the movie. But this song is sweet and haunting. I imagine an enchanted yet desolate forest. It seems eerie when you are standing at the outskirts and then when you enter it, some dappled shade makes you feel as if you are home.

4. I attended work today. Made some progress - very little...but still did that.

5. Today I slept off a little bit in the middle of the day. Sometimes that is the luxury of an otherwise ordinary life.